• Blog Stats

    • 202,472 hits
  • Follow Lil Miss Shalla on WordPress.com
  • Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

    Join 2,098 other followers

  • shalla

  • Goodreads

  • Top Clicks

  • Top Rated

  • duh its a calendar

    June 2021
    M T W T F S S

List of symptoms 2013

Note: this is a list of symptoms I have been suffering from and I am only paying attention to the last 5 years unless otherwise noted on the list.

After this blog I will post a “cover letter” that I plan on sending to the various Doctors and Specialists that are starting to pay attention to me now that I have more proof of being ill…

and after THAT blog I will post a 3rd blog to update where I am with all of the tests that have been done lately

please, PLEASE be respectful, this is MY LIFE and I will not put up with any more people telling me to give up on looking for answers to why I am suffering


Symptoms from last 5 years…

Overall mood:

Mania (more so with higher amounts of insomnia)

Panic attacks and anxiety (worse than usual but all based from valid reasons)

Feeling overwhelmed by the smallest things

Easier to anger/harder to cope

Lack of interest in sex

Lack in interest in most things

No energy (body and mind)

Feeling separation between body and mind


Overall Mind:

Issues speaking/finding words

Issues typing words in correct order… similar to dyslexia

Insomnia (various levels of intensity and length of attack) or chronic fatigue and exhaustion after exertion

No concept of the passage of time (damn near all my life)

Loosing track of time (more than usual)/spacing out/brain fog

More easily confused and forgetful

Ability to look at or hear information/data and have it mean absolutely nothing

Unwanted memories that replay over and over when trying to sleep


Overall Body:

Lack of thirst (since childhood/early teens)

Twitching/spasms, body movements becoming erratic (example: brushing teeth and suddenly tooth brush is in my eye)

Handwriting becoming worse/erratic

Balance issues

Random pains in muscles, bones, skin and rest of the body (various degrees of pain from mild and annoying, to intense and swift) more pinched nerves in hands/arms/back/legs including random pains like being a voodoo doll


Hot/cold flashes worse with menstruation, with or without registered fever

Random rash on arms/ sometimes face/back

Difficult to lose weight

Pain medication does not work or causes side effects or allergic reactions


Exterior area of the body etc.:

Skin & Hair:

Slow to heal

Some scars are fading and some random new scars I don’t remember making

Dry skin and oily skin on face, shiny skin on hands and nails

Acne (cysts and deep nodules)

Moles of different types/size/color/shape and skin tags

Sun sensitivity, including red face with two white bars, one on each side of the face like extended smile after exertion in the sun

Severely sensitive to cold and touch and sounds (can hear electric magnetic frequencies of items/power lines and FEEL ILL too close to nuclear power plants)

Negative reaction to face touch test

Cold nose/fingers/toes, finger tips will usually turn paler when very cold, sometimes red as reheating but never blue/purple

Dry eyes/lips/nose/mouth

Every month small sack/cyst on right lower eye lid

Eye and hair color fading, hair is slow to grow

Some small varicose veins on legs

Short thin blond hairs on face, like cat

Hair follicles in 3 types (white thing attached to hair tip, colored thing at base with long clear jelly like covering up the hair, same as last plus extra/larger thing at top of jelly like thing)

See image…




Pale, thin, chipped at edges, striated and occasional small pits

Occasional white marks (calcium loss)

Puffy/red/small sores on skin at base of nails (not all the time)

White tips of nails are not always solid white, sometimes can be see through

Toe nails have undulation + striation, will sometimes grow new nail under old nail and pinky toes often have something solid like area on heels that need to be sanded down


Inside Body …Head:

Pain in the brain including but not limited to headaches (all 4 types)

Pain behind eyes

Bad teeth/gums

Vision problems (sparkling/floating spots, floating weird shaped things/see through, never sharp enough vision)

Sound in ears like wave lengths/high pitched sounds without explanations like damaged hearing or floating bones

Neck/throat sensitive to pressure

Low grade fevers/temperature, warm or cold when others feel the opposite


Inside Body …Trunk:

Occasional pain in chest

Occasional tingling sensation in morning when breathing

Abdominal pain with occasional harder section in abdomen, worse pain when pushed around belly button area

Leaky gut? Unexplained fluid retention

Slow digestion, acid reflux/sour stomach

Bloating (worse with period)

Painful period/ovulation and clotting during period

Pain during sex

Seizure like twitching in small amounts after sex/orgasm

Tender area in breast, usually just before period

Back pain mostly in lower back but from time to time all over spine and in shoulders

Popping sound in spin/hips/joints

Darker urine in the morning

Occasional incontinence (usually when sneezing or seriously yelling at someone)

Swelling/pain in hands and feet (more in the morning after waking with feet)

Occasional cysts in wrists that will last for months or longer then vanish

Weak wrists


Inside Body …Legs/Hips and Below:

Pain in hips, sometimes hips will try to separate, worse after activities

Pain in legs/ass due to sciatic nerve (down ass to ankles, sometimes front and back of legs)

Pain in shins and top of foot after or during walks (random), feels like cramp

Weak ankles

Swollen ankles

Random pain in leg bones and muscles

Random numbness

Slight swelling/full feeling and numbness on bottom of feet first thing in the morning


visit with the specialist, round 2

I saw the specialist yesterday…

I admit that I don’t remember some of the things that were said, it can be rather stressful when you are trying to hold back or control a panic attack

From what I understand, they seem to think I only have 4 of the 11 lupus markers, so calling it a type of lupus but not full blown.

When I was younger (age 12) and all of this was starting… I had so many more of the symptoms but over the years I have been able to avoid being in environments and foods that will trigger flare ups

While I should be celebrating that doctors are starting to label me with lupus, I am not satisfied

I have been waiting so long for this and fighting so hard to get people to listen to me

I don’t want a label, I want an answer and then I want treatments but I will not be satisfied till I have more tests

I need more tests

With my normal (general practitioner) doctor, I had requested to know what my vitamin D levels were. I know that some of my family members suffer from low levels of vitamin D and that can cause a number of symptoms and make health issues that much worse

So it seems my vit D has been low but no one saw fit to give me meds for that or to tell me…

A lot of my tests are slightly too high or slightly too low for “normal” and when the fuck have I EVER been normal!?

I voiced my anger at the twat junior doc I saw last visit to the hospital, that he had failed to know my information and failed to understand that the medication he prescribed to lower my pain… has a number of warnings for people suffering from curvature of the spine, mental disorders (including panic attacks and bipolar, which I have) and gave it to me anyway

I mentioned that I was angry at how I thought I was supposed to have a biopsy on the gland in my mouth but all they did were a bunch of blood tests and an xray of my hands and spine

So Monday they want me back at the hospital for more tests

This time I will have a scan, in France that can mean just about anything and often they use the tag name MRI (ok in French it is IRM) but if you ask them EXACTLY which scan they are talking about…you might just get an answer

So they will have me submit to a PET scan and see what the fun things my brain is doing

I really feel bad for having my panic attacks and for rejecting the idea of seeing a therapist, it’s hard to explain to them just how traumatic it is for me to be with the doctors

For me, it is like being in the same room as a rapist and having to keep calm so nothing happens to trigger a worse situation and they are the one taking you home…

It is really hard

If the doctors in American had paid attention and tried to help me, my mental issues would never have gotten as bad as they are but for all that, I do much better than most to control my problems

I know I can’t always have a panic attack, even though sometimes I need one… there are times when I am not in a safe location or I have others I am responsible for or have to be strong for them

Which makes it hard for people to believe me, it is easier for them to think I am faking it but when you have no other option than to control yourself… that’s what you do

So seeing a shrink, for me, isn’t going to help in this case… not to forget the language issues

I have been studying the mind for most of my life, learning how people behave and why and how this affects me and I have been in abusive and violent situations…

I can’t always help myself but I do try and in the mean time I make an effort to heal others and learn new ways to help myself

So yeah, I am scared about Monday and the tests

But as always

I am more scared that they will find nothing or not enough of something


poetry, shorts, and other stuff

Free thoughts

For a better communication


Often Erotic Musings from a queer, kinky and definitely dirty girl

An Accident In Space And Time

Just your average, friendly Vulcan

%d bloggers like this: