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News of the day: A moment of silence vs speaking up #NeverForget911 and #AllLivesMatter


i saw a meme floating around earlier                                                                                                                                 saying we should do a facebook moment of silence between the hours that the towers fell

yes i want to pay respect
yes i turned on the news and watched in horror
partly because i was very much pregnant at the time and learning that there was a crash within driving distance of my house and no way did i want to go into labor with that sort of confusion and chaos going on…

so yes, i want to pay my respects
but i don’t want to be silent
i don’t see how that will make anything better and could very well turn things for the worse

staying silent doesnt change things

and everyone needs to remember
those who died that day
they were not all white americans
there was a mix
A MIX OF HUMAN LIVES from all over

and after the towers fell
what did people do?
did they give a moment of silence and then go and help everyone get over their grief and fear

some did

but far too many decided to target people who even remotely looked like what they considered a terrorist

hell my own cousin who is american of german / polish ancestry decided it was safer to change his appearance in such a radical way that he wouldnt be mistaken simply because he had dark features in the middle of bumfucknowhere wisconsin

so right now
fuck the moment of silence
it wont bring them back

if you want to pay your respects
don’t let any more lives be attacked
and i dont mean white american lives
i mean ALL lives

don’t let people go out hunting for trouble
don’t let people go out targeting who they think are terrorists
don’t let people go out looking for retribution

#AllLivesMatter

so make an effort, grow up and treat people better!
THAT is how you end terrorism

News of the day: #InderjitSinghMukker that poor man! #AllLivesMatter


i just posted this message on facebook and link to the article about the horrible beating of Inderjit Singh Mukker

what i have to say on facebook applies here and twitter as well

if you racist

get the fuck out of my life

this…. THIS RIGHT HERE
this is why i keep say ALLLLLLLLL lives matter

but no, i get bitched at and told black lives matter and accused of being racist
seriously people
wake the fuck up!

this man was beaten! why? because some asshole didnt like the way the guy looked

racism is all over the fucking place!

dont you dare fucking tell me one race, one religion, one any fucking thing counts more than another!

get the fuck off my friends list any one of you who have racism in your hearts or wanna give me shit on this!

#‎AllLivesMatter‬

reply to fetlife venting/statement … how “a certain body type is not a fetish”


People upset me

as I am often repeating this, I am sure you are aware of this fact and I know at some point I will feel forced to say it again…

tonight is another .. “oh look what fetlife has to share with me” sort of email situation

and unlike other times this has happened I will not be posting the entire message that has me in a snit

the reason for not posting it all is out of respect to the personal history stated in the “example” parts of the message/venting/rant/opinion?

While some parts are easy for me to agree with, other areas ruffle my feathers and though it may seem I am tailoring this blog to my opinions… ok well I am but I am not doing so to be “right”

my blog, my thoughts.. simple

you can agree, disagree or be neutral .. but that’s on you based off who you are and your experiences..

so here goes….

Loving a certain body type is not a fetish.

Definition of a fetish: a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc.

Men who like BBW are considered freaks. The hatred I have seen for these men has left me taken aback. They are treated as deviants. As women, we are treated lower than human. Fat shaming is one of the most social acceptable for of abuse.

Fat doesn’t equal evil. Fat doesn’t equal deviance. Fat isn’t a fetish. Fat isn’t abnormal. Fat isn’t an inanimate object. Fat doesn’t make a person good or bad. Fat doesn’t mean lazy. Fat doesn’t equal bad health.

Everyone eats. There is nothing wrong with enjoying eating if you are fat. Everyone needs a certain amount of calories each day.

My point of writing this is…just because a man is attracted to you it doesn’t mean it’s a fetish. I have thought that for a long time. I know there are other’s who think an athletic man or any man for that matter has to have something wrong with him in order to like a plus size woman. It’s not fair to them. It’s not fair to us. You are not a fetish and he doesn’t see you as a fetish. You are not abnormal. He is not abnormal. Don’t take on the warped ideas of modern society. It wasn’t only this way. Instead, undo the propaganda.

He sees a woman. That is all. You are a woman and that’s all that matters.

Ok so here is what I had to reply

the brain is wired to … x… = fetish

for me pony play gets me excited purely from a photography stand point

it does nothing fetish wise for me

some people like feet, others like smoking…

but yes there are people who want to feed/be fed or prefer larger sizes/fat in general…

for them it is a fetish

they are part of a feeder/fat fetish community

i recently met a guy in that community and i have met a lot of people over the years…

i know the intensity a fetish can bring out in someone and how to tell a genuine fetish vs liking something a lot…

fat was very much a fetish for him, to an extent with humiliation play but that was purely a side thing

i have met men with a fetish for shrinking or being shrunk

met two guys who wanted to be eaten (one in europe, other in the states)..

not 100% eaten but damn near

one of the guys wanted me to tie him up, treat him like a pig (literally) with an apple in his mouth and go through the motions of eating him with as much physical contact as possible and have the same meal on the plate so as to make it more real

one guy i know cant cum at all if he doesn’t hear the sound of a woman taking a piss

pyromania is often linked to masturbation/sexual feelings

but those things don’t fit in with the definition of fetish that is listed in this post

my problem with the definitions of “what is” or “is not” … they are written by humans who have yet to become omnipotent .. thus anything that was a certain idea 10, 15, 20 yrs ago may no longer apply now and will certainly change in the future

if you don’t believe me, just look at how music has branched off over the years or if you want to keep it strictly sexual look at alllllll the new fetishes/terms/groups that didn’t exist 20 years ago

how we look at people, how we treat them is often based on what society deems important at any given time..

take deodorant.. people started using it en mass because advertisement started and a shaming campaign was created that you were not part of the in crowd etc if you had (naturally occurring) b.o.

we all have to treat ourselves better and best way to do that is to stop the hate spread by media/marketing… shaming of any one/kind needs to stop

i learned at a young age… people (as a whole) suck, individuals are awesome

i also learned at a very young… there is nothing wrong with me/you for being different than the “norm”, you cant force people to wake up and see you for you… you can only offer your best and move on when they stay in the trap of what society thinks is important/beautiful and refusing to think for themselves

but this is my opinion

take it, leave it, ignore it…

many hugs

more venting ..body shaming and stupidity


So, tonight i saw a friend venting over the fact that her kids had to deal with body shaming..

they are preteen girls and they eat more healthy than a lot of people i know

they are active and smart and behave the way kids should

but because they are girls they fall into the category of crap we as a society seem to find acceptable

i am all for exercise and eating right

i know i NEED to slim down so that my body will hurt less and i will have more energy

yes looking more the shape i want is part of it

but i know there are a good number of you lot who read this and love my curves and softness

i don’t want to be “stick skinny” that isn’t how my bones or body type are meant to be

but on that same note, if your bones and body type ARE meant to be stick skinny, there is no shame in that!!

i want to be stronger and more defined in my shapes, my curves and softness

i want to be tempered and solid but still comfortable for snuggles

but i want this for me, for my healthy, for my well being

for me, slimming down is not about being more confident or giving a shit what others think of me

and not because society says i have to fit a mold and look this way for others

I am confident in who I am!

but everywhere i go i see all kinds of shaming and victimizing

TV people telling women “hide your pregnancy to get a job” ..this from another woman!!

commercials making women the butt of jokes or victims or implying that they can only be shopaholics with less than 2 brain cells to rub together

i look at the teens my boys go to school with and i cringe… OK so that covers the kids in France

then i look at the ones in the UK. the states.. i keep cringing

everywhere i travel you have morons leading the packs

worse than any hive mind or clique mentality that i grew up with in the various schools i went to

people scare me

when i look at the choices the governments are making in all countries and i look at what is on TV and what is being shown as acceptable thoughts and behaviors

i cringe

I am all for the happiness of others, the well being of others but not at any expense

it seems that every place I look, people jump from topic to topic and do the bare minimum to really make a change

and then people bitch at you when you point out this flaw

sure I want gays to have the right to marry..now they do… but they sure as fuck should have the right to not be persecuted for being gay in the work place or anywhere else and they sure as shit should have had that FROM THE START! But no… that is something they still have to fight for

which is bullshit

and I am all for black lives mattering.. as in I do not want victims being made out of innocent people … but I don’t want people focusing only on the “black” part of that statement!

And no mater how many people tell me that no one is saying it… they are.. people are focusing on the “black” part..and the “gay” part..and the “female” part and there are thousands of other ways we keep dividing the statement to fit…instead of focusing on the main issue

ALL LIVES MATTER (and I don’t mean human only!)

and not to forget

EVERYONE HAS THE RIGHT TO BE HAPPY AND FEEL SAFE

yes there will always be morons who shame others and bully and treat people like shit

it isn’t right that they exist but it happens

what shouldn’t happen is letting those kind of behaviors run rampant and become acceptable!

I should not feel bad about myself for being female!

I should not feel like I have to be an object for men to pay attention to me!

now don’t get me wrong I love the attention I get from posting ARTISTIC or thought provoking or funny images that are also erotic and I love knowing I make others sexually stimulated ..it is fun and I like it

but I don’t want the crap that a huge majority of the guys give me when I say no!

I will not take a pic just for you or I will not go on cam just for you or I will not compromise myself and my ideals just for you

I have value!

I have been raped by my HUSBAND!

I have been raped by my boyfriend of 3 YEARS! Who everyone expected me to marry

I was almost raped by two boyfriends and one sex friend

never at any point was I “asking for it”

in each case I trusted these men, loved deeply some of them and was reduced to nothing in a matter of seconds

the one time I was almost raped by a completely random stranger, it was simply because I was female and there and he felt he had the right to take what he wanted

I was not wearing slutty clothing or asking for it in any way

I was made to be a victim but in his mind he was just being friendly and trying to have a good time

we as a society constantly say one thing and do another

when are we going to stick to one idea and get it done all the way

no more half assed behavior!

we fought to have equal rights for “women” for “children” to end “slavery” for “gays/lgbt” for the “handicapped” for “animals” for “religious freedom”

you name it and we fight for “insert x type” of equality

and we gain it on a piece of paper and in partial action

but not fully

women still don’t have equal rights no matter what is said

and children still don’t have equal rights

and on and on

and we shame people and segregate people and keep encouraging people to stop thinking

hive mind mentality

“do what I want”

“think what I want”

you puny humans don’t need to think for yourselves

bah so sick of all this

so disappointed in people

venting over politics again


watching the news
seeing things circle back to black lives matter vs all lives matter and people getting pissed cause clinton wont cow tow to the public opinion and say black lives matter and that saying all lives matter is wrong or said in bad taste or that if politicians dont have the balls to say x….

and i voice my distress over this on twitter
somehow i am labeled as having an ego for thinking that…

all lives matter vs black lives matter is a difference between continued segregation vs humanitarianism

how i now have an ego for thinking that EVERYONE matters
no matter what your race, color, sex, religion or if you are a fucking plant or animal/insect/bird etc

if we want to better this world we have to teach EVERYONE that we are all important and that we have to treat others better!

if we keep saying the following (see below) then we keep segregating in the hopes to better each group instead of uniting us all for the same hopes of being treated well and being happy

same sex marriage vs gay/lesbian
black live matter vs all lives matter
your religion vs my religion vs there is no god
wealth (its all mine) vs poor and those caught in the middle
disabled vs abled
male vs female vs who you feel you should be

the list goes on

we all matter, if we keep choosing to put labels on who matters, we end up wasting time by taking a longer path to the destination we are hoping to find

yes, the end point matters but so does the road you take to get there and who you influence along the way and how they receive your influence

but ya know, i have an ego

(armedwithcoffee)

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