summer healing


so i have been battling an autoimmune disorder for nearly 25 years and i will be 37 this october… so my health has been something of a mess for FAR too long

one of the best ways to see how i am suffering is to look at my face

part of the reason i tend to look so young is because i have something similar to acne and have had this problem since i was 10!

it seems that i am allergic to myself and have random allergy breakouts that get worse depending on a number of factors

since moving out of that pretty shit hole i was in for 3 years.. my skin is healing

i moved out fully in july, so far i have only had one bad week of skin where i needed some make up to dampen down the look of my skin

because i get cysts in some of my pores, i literally have to perform surgery on my face to get the crap out or it will hurt worse and force me to go to the hospital to get them to do it under pain meds… the cysts tend to reach down and put pressure on nerves making it excruciating the bigger they get

but taking care of my skin constantly makes he have sores that run the risk of getting infected and leaving angry red spots or scars… it is a real bitch and can be a nightmare to hear or see people freak out if i am not wearing makeup

being out of the bad house with the mold has really helped my health

on top of that i started to use a mixture of coconut oil and red palm oil, rubbing it into my skin and sleeping with it on over night

i have no allergies to either but if you try it be warned of possible allergies and staining of towels or sheets haha

first time i tried i worried if the orange tint would wash off my face.. did not want to go around with people thinking i wanted to look like trump.. ick ick lol

but it comes off easily and heals the skin, making it softer, cutting down infection and bacteria that builds up on and in the skin… also helps to slowly make scars go away 😀

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so this is me today, no makeup and this is the end of a week were it has been the worst my skin has looked in a about a month and a half 😀

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this is me the other day with makeup

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haha no eyebrows but who cares

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i love that i am healing… finally

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also love that i am starting to slim down, i’ve lost 7 kilos, roughly 15 lbs… im at 85 kilo or roughly 187lbs

haha no i dont plan on trying to get stick skinny, my bones and muscle tone would never support that but i would like to get closer to 56kilo or roughly 125 lbs where i was about 10 years ago

i love this picture as it clearly shows more of my lines are coming back as i slim down

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less weight means easier to move, easier to find clothing that fits in this weird fashion world of france and elf like bodies… i’m more of a dwarf haha but no beard 😉

i want to be stronger and more healthy

 

 

“Let me put on my face”


Growing up I used to hear odd ways of speaking from many different people in my life…

including random strangers as the pass by

 

The ones that stick with me most are “let me put my eyes in”

for when someone has to put their contact lenses in to be able to see and function properly

 

Or there is this one “I just need to put my face on and then we can go”

Now that one really stuck with me

 

If you pay attention to my blog, twitter feed, facebook or any other social site I use…

Then you will know that I suffer from health issues… a lot of them

 

For the most part I look pretty normal

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sure the past year I have almost exclusively walked with a cane to keep my balance and give me mobility that would be restricted if I over work my body to try and be as “normal” as everyone says I look..

 

Most people assume I am younger than my almost 35 years or they think I must not be in as bad of pain if I am not mentioning it every 5 seconds

 

I am a “trooper” .. I carry on and get through the day as best I can and try to keep doing things the way I used to, be who I used to be and each year that gets more difficult

 

The most visible problem that people point out… is my skin… my face to be exact

I do my best to hide my face… foundation, cover up… whatever you want to call it…

 

I just want to look “normal”

 

I don’t want to be some fashion model or photoshopped pretty face

I simply want to avoid having the neighbors kid freak out like I am some freak or ugly monster

…true story (of course being me I explained my health and situation and he freaks less, he doesnt do it to be mean, he is simply young and tactless lol)

 

I get something like adult acne…

cysts, boils, dunno what else… I don’t really care, I just want it gone

 

First thing everyone says (professional or not)…. “don’t pick your face”

 

I don’t…

 

I perform minor surgery on my face

I have read enough about the pain I feel to understand (book wise vs simply using common sense) that what I am dealing with NEEDS surgery

 

The pain I live with isn’t normal

but no one listens to me…

25 years with “acne” and still no one listens to me or takes me seriously

 

So I have mentioned before to many different people, about my face but I rarely post any pictures to really explain beyond the words

I hide and it sucks and it restricts me in many ways

but I do it so I wont be judged by fools with hurtful tongues and empty minds

 

so… the following is me going from freshly washed face to all dolled up and ready to seduce a lover or few 😉

 

to be fair my skin isn’t TOO bad today

no sores that refuse to heal fast enough

nothing that wont stay closed

nothing that was overly hard to hide

nothing that was too painful to touch in any way

 

so here goes

 

#1 … side A

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#2…. side B

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#3… now for my “war paint”

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#4…. halfway to “normal”

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#5… about as “normal” as i get

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So… this is me..

There are people out there with worse situations than mine and I try to keep that in mind

 

I know some people can relate to me for many different reasons

I also know that too many people put value in the wrong places

 

I am just me.. nothing more and nothing less

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

E.B. Starpointer

erotic author and sex-positive male commentator

An Accident In Space And Time

Just your average, friendly Vulcan

Exposed Loving

Be Love. Bring Love. LOVE.

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