summer healing


so i have been battling an autoimmune disorder for nearly 25 years and i will be 37 this october… so my health has been something of a mess for FAR too long

one of the best ways to see how i am suffering is to look at my face

part of the reason i tend to look so young is because i have something similar to acne and have had this problem since i was 10!

it seems that i am allergic to myself and have random allergy breakouts that get worse depending on a number of factors

since moving out of that pretty shit hole i was in for 3 years.. my skin is healing

i moved out fully in july, so far i have only had one bad week of skin where i needed some make up to dampen down the look of my skin

because i get cysts in some of my pores, i literally have to perform surgery on my face to get the crap out or it will hurt worse and force me to go to the hospital to get them to do it under pain meds… the cysts tend to reach down and put pressure on nerves making it excruciating the bigger they get

but taking care of my skin constantly makes he have sores that run the risk of getting infected and leaving angry red spots or scars… it is a real bitch and can be a nightmare to hear or see people freak out if i am not wearing makeup

being out of the bad house with the mold has really helped my health

on top of that i started to use a mixture of coconut oil and red palm oil, rubbing it into my skin and sleeping with it on over night

i have no allergies to either but if you try it be warned of possible allergies and staining of towels or sheets haha

first time i tried i worried if the orange tint would wash off my face.. did not want to go around with people thinking i wanted to look like trump.. ick ick lol

but it comes off easily and heals the skin, making it softer, cutting down infection and bacteria that builds up on and in the skin… also helps to slowly make scars go away 😀

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so this is me today, no makeup and this is the end of a week were it has been the worst my skin has looked in a about a month and a half 😀

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this is me the other day with makeup

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haha no eyebrows but who cares

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i love that i am healing… finally

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also love that i am starting to slim down, i’ve lost 7 kilos, roughly 15 lbs… im at 85 kilo or roughly 187lbs

haha no i dont plan on trying to get stick skinny, my bones and muscle tone would never support that but i would like to get closer to 56kilo or roughly 125 lbs where i was about 10 years ago

i love this picture as it clearly shows more of my lines are coming back as i slim down

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less weight means easier to move, easier to find clothing that fits in this weird fashion world of france and elf like bodies… i’m more of a dwarf haha but no beard 😉

i want to be stronger and more healthy

 

 

something old & something blue #Sinfulsunday


as with all sinful sunday posts… it’s about the image
this weekend is also carrying along the theme of “from below”

click on the lips to see what the other lovelies have been doing

Sinful Sunday

it’s been a while since i joined in the fun for sinful sunday

the move to the new house took up a lot of my time, helping my old neighbors move, having the kids for the summer and the god awful heat…well it has been a bit hard to be inspired or have the time to post

but i liked the idea of today’s challenge and decided to do a mix of pictures

for something old, i have some pictures i took in november 2010

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i’d been in london and came back with my cute goth tutu skirt, i wanted pictures to show it off… along with my new rock shoes

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at that time i was still married and very high on my sex drive but no outlet… part of why the divorce..

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i like looking at these pictures and remembering who i was in that moment.. i want my sex drive back, i want the fun i found in london and i want to feel sexy

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but lately i have been lacking in libido and longing for comfort, affection and cheesy as it is to say it.. love but not just any love.. something magical

so to turn the camera to that end.. we have the blue

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i bought a special light a while back, it changes colors via a remote and adds a lil something special to my moods

i hope to be around more in the future and maybe explore the forest near my house

 

flash from the past week …day 1


so i decided to go through a bunch of my old pics

i take a dozen or more each time i post something here

there are thousands i could post but havent

so

why wait for thursdays for a throw back

i will go for a week of it

this is me in a friends shower from 2014

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why not take a selfie in a more old school fashion

mirror and my DSLR

i miss using that camera but it desperately needs to be cleaned

are you thinking of me tonight? #myghost


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are you thinking of me tonight

is that why his voice came on the air

singing strong and pure

reminding me of you

are you thinking of me tonight

though I try not to think of you

go about my day

enjoy my life and the summer wind

are you thinking of me tonight

when last we spoke your words like a slap across the face

my final goodbye to your silent reply

are you thinking of me tonight

when I have ignored my subconcious trying to bring you back to light

the music had stoped

no more songs

no more voice

are you thinking of me tonight

the reason I ask is because his voice found me again

when things sneak in like ninjas

there is always a reason

so I ask

are you thinking of me tonight

you know who you are

do the words from his song speak for you

is that why they snuck into my speakers

are you thinking of me tonight

as i’m randomly listening to Någon Som Du

or am I alone

listening to echos of ghosts

and then the music changes

Ane Brun – The Puzzle

I don’t care who thinks of me

all that matters is I think of me

new words

new voice

my words

my voice

seems that #ManicMonday is screaming to be #TittyTuesday


really now

who has time for words when boobs could be shown instead

*evil grin*

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E.B. Starpointer

erotic author and sex-positive male commentator

An Accident In Space And Time

Just your average, friendly Vulcan

Exposed Loving

Be Love. Bring Love. LOVE.

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