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    May 2021
    M T W T F S S

random notes: how NOT to seduce me

srsly people
whatever your gender…
if you want to try and court me, seduce me..
here’s some advice… works for new friendships too
if i ask you a question… i want an answer
you dont HAVE to give one
it’s just that if you want me to ask sub question after sub question under the main question i asked you to begin with..
i’m going to be bored
i do NOT want to have a one sided conversation where i have to think for both sides
i don’t find it cute to tease information out of people… if you have experience in something, tell me what and we can compare notes 
if you have a funny story, tell me so i can laugh instead of having to guess the bits, get the gist of it and feed back what i think MIGHT be the story that YOU experienced
if you want to know me, expect to be open (to an extent) about yourself… if i want to be bored and have a one sided conversation… i can blog or talk to my reflection in the mirror
and for the love of all that is holy..
do not expect me to timidly hold back on saying what i expect
they say in older materiel that a man’s time is money and not to waste his time…
ya know during those more intensely sexist periods of recent history
well i don’t play those games.. my time, my energy, is JUST as important…
and one last bit of information..
if you have no personality and just want to fuck
why the hell are you anywhere near me?!
……yes, yes i have had an interesting day with the french boys again.. *eye roll*

deep thoughts due to attack in Brussels

another attack…
it makes me ill

the attack in Brussels, the wars in other countries, all the suffering that makes it to the news and all the suffering that never gets heard…

the greed, the fear, the hatred…

it makes me ashamed to be human…

somewhere in the universe, another world is viewing us through their own version of Hubble and one day picking up our broadcasts…

i know that light takes a very long time to reach us and that what we see in space is often long gone…

living in the now, for us, i hope we get better as a planet so that when those who are viewing us have something bright to see instead of this humiliation…

yes, it is stupid to worry what others think…

but at the same time if we worried a little bit more in the right directions, maybe one day we would have a more utopian like society, so that we could be the wise and friendly aliens who go out to help others become advanced

but on the path we currently walk, i fear for ourselves and the terrors we would most likely participate in, if not unleash, on the universe

don’t judge me … #NoBraDay .. “Put your boobs back in your bra and donate to cancer research.”

so as you know from other posts

i decided to participate in “no bra day”

i posted 2 images on facebook

1 was shared by a friend

IMG_3470 a

seems one of her friends just didnt approve

now i get that some people are prudish

others are stupid

some are just cruel

some always have to be right or know whats best

some are ubber conservative

and others have religious or cultural differences


and yeah i get that those who have survived cancer could be offended

i know i would still be showing my breasts no matter how they looked if i had cancer (survival or no)

we tell women to do this, do that, think this, think that but dont worry you have equal rights

just no nursing in public, we cant tolerate that!

no birth control options for you young lady

“you dress that way so you must be asking for it”

no taking enjoyment in sex for the sake of pleasure… guys can but god forbid a woman do it too

being told “your place is in the kitchen”

growing up being told it is our fault for getting felt up on the bus, bras snapped in class

no being proud of your body

no positive reinforcement to be female

“you hit/run/scream/etc like a girl”

fuck you! i am a girl!!

i am proud of who i am, where i have been, the struggles i have been through

i have been sick for 24 years! i will be 36 at the end of this month

i am a survivor of many traumas

and i do not sit back and let things happen when i am capable of helping others

so the message to my meme on facebook

well it pissed me off

and here is what we all said

my friend:

Brest cancer awareness brought to you by the lovely Shalla Radiolady! CHECK YOURSELF MEN AND WOMEN!

her friend:

I’m sorry, I get that this is for breast cancer awareness. But to me it’s simply dumb. Put your boobs back in your bra and donate to cancer research.

and me:

i helped in cancer research as an animal care tech…

the wealthfare of the animals being tested is the most important part of the research but all the funding given…
it is not given to the ones like me who dealt with writing down animal deaths, births, new cancerous growths, putting down the animals, changing their cages, filling supplies, cleaning their cages and sterilizing their cages
nor is the money being used to properly supply the universities with all the people and machines needed to care for the animals…
instead it goes to the scientists and their students (who rarely follow protocol and can cause all kinds of illness to spread and infect the research) because they are the ones with the degree and deemed important…
without the animals, you dont have tests, without proper tests you dont get results… ie wasted time and money 
(ex hubby is a PhD in cell biology, i have also worked in his world slicing samples for research and other grunt work)
but if you also look at those organizations who “help” with cancer research, rarely any of the money actually gets to the scientists… yay for lined pockets
so.. i will keep posting my breasts
not simply to remind people to think about their own (not just women but men too) but also because we need to see more nudity so that we stop being ashamed of our bodies and stop treating them like objects…
did you know that in africa cancer is treated as a contagious disease and women who are suffering from breast cancer are outcasted from their families and forced to deal with their cancer alone… and yeah i know this because i helped with the photography for the women speaking at events for African Women’s Cancer Association Awareness
i was also a sex therapist on the radio and i have worked with an organization in the uk who help promote equal (sexual/sexuality) rights for the handicap
i am a life coach and i blog, i share my body in images because i know it isnt what the media deems attractive and yet every year i have someone tell me how i inspired them to love their body
i help save lives every year and i am hoping to soon start working with some of the local prostitutes to help give them the mental health support they are lacking in my community
so..sorry… i happen to be poor but i have time to give and experience to offer
my big point is… at the end of the day… i have done something, i have made an effort and that lasts
tomorrow is a new day… and i will keep doing something
donating money, great if you have it but it is something you can walk away from and forget, go about your life and never face any of the reality
so… if you have money great
but dont judge me
after posting this i go back to facebook and see she had more to say
thus meaning i too had to open my yap
Did I say you in particular? No. I’m just giving my two cents. I feel personally that if anyone is posting pics, great, go for it. But it is not like it does anything. Will a pic of yourself donate? No. If you wanna remind people to check for breast cancer, make a post.
And yes, I was aware, but again, a pic does nothing. If you are poor, just make a post to remind family and friends to check themselves.
and me:
umm those are my boobs in that pic
i have over 600 people who follow me, i have over 1000 on twitter and many more who follow my blog.. all 3 places have this pic… i am a public person, maybe not famous… but i tip the scales… so maybe this pic does not raise money… but it does get people thinking.. if that thought for you means donate money..job well done, go out and give
is it bad i am hoping she will inspire me to write more?
yup she did… posted more
so did i
I was aware, but I was saying in general ;). Your thing is your thing. Your opinion is yours and mine is mine. I really do not understand the reason why we are arguing over something as simple as an opinion. I really hope you spread awareness, though.

and me:
i am upset because too many people think money makes a difference.. it is impersonal and rarely gets to the people who need it
i am upset because i have done a lot that most never would and i have seen the inner workings of the system
i am upset because i choose to do something but get attacked for it.. be it in general or directly
i am upset that people (in general or directly) assume that my choice to show my breasts in support of this meme/event/day is just a scream for attention and excuse to get the boys (or girls) drooling for shallow fun in disguise of the real deal (did you say this, no but easily could be said/thought by anyone)
i am upset because too many ..around the world.. judge
you can have an opinion, it is wonderful to have one
but don’t be surprised if others decide to mirror back the judgment made on them
i mean, take selena gomez for example… a more neutral topic
she recently went public with the fact that she has lupus
the reason why she went public was because so many of her fans, random people with an opinion..
decided to bash her for being out of the public eye and canceling shows
omg OBBBBBVIOUSLY she must be a drunk or druggy and in rehab
her fans treated her like shit, posting comments all over the web
because they had an opinion and one idiot after another listened to that opinion.. which helped spread hate and entertainment at the expense of another human being
you don’t like something
fine, don’t like it
you don’t agree with something
no big deal
you live life by a different set of rules
don’t judge me and how i live my life based off your opinions and your rules
so… yes i took this personally
because you said “Put your boobs back in your bra and donate to cancer research.”
and i bet you thought you could get away with stating your…opinion…
and not have a backlash
possibly thinking that this was just a meme shared by a friend by a friend by other people
instead of the one who created and posed for the meme
and if you don’t understand “why we are arguing over something as simple as an opinion”
words have value, the have weight
opinions are voiced words… they count
and all it takes is one person to say the wrong thing for it to become gospel in the minds of those who refuse to think for themselves
i’m not saying your opinion is wrong
i am saying why it pissed me off
i write best when it is for something i believe in
something that inspires me
but now it is 4:41am and i have a lil furball who wants me to go to bed and cuddle
yay for kittens
remember folks.. opinions are great but come with a lot of responsibility when shared

News of the day: A moment of silence vs speaking up #NeverForget911 and #AllLivesMatter

i saw a meme floating around earlier                                                                                                                                 saying we should do a facebook moment of silence between the hours that the towers fell

yes i want to pay respect
yes i turned on the news and watched in horror
partly because i was very much pregnant at the time and learning that there was a crash within driving distance of my house and no way did i want to go into labor with that sort of confusion and chaos going on…

so yes, i want to pay my respects
but i don’t want to be silent
i don’t see how that will make anything better and could very well turn things for the worse

staying silent doesnt change things

and everyone needs to remember
those who died that day
they were not all white americans
there was a mix
A MIX OF HUMAN LIVES from all over

and after the towers fell
what did people do?
did they give a moment of silence and then go and help everyone get over their grief and fear

some did

but far too many decided to target people who even remotely looked like what they considered a terrorist

hell my own cousin who is american of german / polish ancestry decided it was safer to change his appearance in such a radical way that he wouldnt be mistaken simply because he had dark features in the middle of bumfucknowhere wisconsin

so right now
fuck the moment of silence
it wont bring them back

if you want to pay your respects
don’t let any more lives be attacked
and i dont mean white american lives
i mean ALL lives

don’t let people go out hunting for trouble
don’t let people go out targeting who they think are terrorists
don’t let people go out looking for retribution


so make an effort, grow up and treat people better!
THAT is how you end terrorism

you call that rain? i call that tsunami in training!

holy ass fuck!
rain? no we didnt have rain in town…
no we had a mini fucking tsunami that decided to leave flooding all over the fucking place and not JUST on the lower level bits

drove through a few high patches, no choice… got to one area.. no fucking way, just not passable, saw one smaller car deep in, water had to have been 6″ under where the window starts

double back.. have to get to my son and get him from work
at 23hr in pouring rain when city has been turned into giant water trap

one road down hill was so bad that several of the manholes had blown their tops and lid was on the street, other manholes were propped open/up and a geyser of water shooting up 4′ above the road… trash bags everywhere cause of course it just happened to be trash night

cant go through the old part of the city as 90% is one way roads that double back to nowhere or you end up at points where you need a pass key to continue forward as it is normally closed to traffic

so.. tried the normal way.. lets go up and around and down and out… what? wtf you mean the high ground has a flooded area!
what you mean all the cars are doubling back…

no fucking choice, have to get to my son, have to get home
onward we go, straight line, no sudden movements, keep it constant and dont fucking stop

make it through… momvan..

get up, get upper, go back down, go around, go up again, wait… there he is, topless, in his work hat and soaked

seems he tried to walk on the sidewalk but didnt see the section that dips down for buses and he ended up balls deep in water…

so… we are home, safe…i’m having a beer
feeling like i danced with the devil tonight



poetry, shorts, and other stuff

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An Accident In Space And Time

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