venting over politics again

watching the news
seeing things circle back to black lives matter vs all lives matter and people getting pissed cause clinton wont cow tow to the public opinion and say black lives matter and that saying all lives matter is wrong or said in bad taste or that if politicians dont have the balls to say x….

and i voice my distress over this on twitter
somehow i am labeled as having an ego for thinking that…

all lives matter vs black lives matter is a difference between continued segregation vs humanitarianism

how i now have an ego for thinking that EVERYONE matters
no matter what your race, color, sex, religion or if you are a fucking plant or animal/insect/bird etc

if we want to better this world we have to teach EVERYONE that we are all important and that we have to treat others better!

if we keep saying the following (see below) then we keep segregating in the hopes to better each group instead of uniting us all for the same hopes of being treated well and being happy

same sex marriage vs gay/lesbian
black live matter vs all lives matter
your religion vs my religion vs there is no god
wealth (its all mine) vs poor and those caught in the middle
disabled vs abled
male vs female vs who you feel you should be

the list goes on

we all matter, if we keep choosing to put labels on who matters, we end up wasting time by taking a longer path to the destination we are hoping to find

yes, the end point matters but so does the road you take to get there and who you influence along the way and how they receive your influence

but ya know, i have an ego

part 2 of yay another rant part political

As if one bitch fest from me on the subject wasn’t enough…

One guy on fet really pissing me off

The reply to previous question on my blog

Male, age 51

I am wondering what is going to happen when the fire fight is hot and a little kid comes running at your postion. Are you going to save the little kid or scream at it to stop or you will shoot. All kidding aside can you pull that trigger and save everyone from the bomb strapped on that kid?

And yes allot of weak men are overcome with emotions in the heat of battle. But how can you woman claim as so many have to be soooo in touch with your emotions and then say you can just switch them off. Ignore genes all you want but some things are hard wired into the majority. Am i saying you are not strong? Oh hell no. Not brave? Nope you have it in spades when needed. Just saying that when faced with a choice of shooting that kid or letting him enter the camp that allot of woman are going to fail that challange. Dont say it has not happenes. In nalm and korea that tactic was used.

My reply:

I can switch off my emotions and have sex with you, take your money and walk out

I can also switch off my emotions and hold the heart of a pig that is still beating in a slowly dying adolescent swine that has been used for a pig lab to teach medical students, some of whom are female, how to properly stitch you up should you have a heart attack or get shot or for whatever reason you need internal matters dealt with

I am also able to switch off and cut the heads off of baby mice, the ones that are pink, furless and look too fucking much like human fetuses because you see… to euthanize them you can’t just gas them, that only works on animals with adult set of lungs, the ones that young are not developed the same and gassing them only puts them to sleep so you HAVE to take that extra step

I am able to switch off my fear for myself and battle a chimney fire in my house, while alone and watching 2 of my 3 children… when I say chimney fire, I mean fire box that has a long pipe to the ceiling that goes outside, said pipe made this sound… a growling sound, the shiny silver of the pipe turned a love shade of metallic rainbow and flames started licking out the seams by about a good 5 inches… and yeah, it had been professionally cleaned prior to said issues

I can switch off my emotions when trying to avoid getting raped 4 times, the first two being so violent I refuse to let people touch my neck, that if they do I have a violent panic attack with strangers and go stiff waiting with others I know and trust… the 3rd never got as violent and all 3 of those I could talk my way out of it going too far but that 4th one got violent to the point that due to language issues I could not talk my way out and had to fight back to avoid getting raped

I have been raped by those I was dating and I switched off during that

I have switched off saving lives, get the job done, you can freak later if you still need to

I have switched off on so many occasions it isn’t funny

Can you do what I have done?

Can you do what I have lived through without the proper training that schooling gives you, just going with your gut instincts and hands on experiences?

if I can fucking do all of that while being ill for 21 years, no help from doctors, them telling me it is all in my head and giving me nothing but emotional and mental abuse when they are there to fucking help me… yay for autoimmune disorders, the silent and misunderstood disorder that if treated early when symptoms show up… so much pain could be avoided

So yeah, if I can do all that I have without training and in chronic pain… just think what I could do if I had training, with or without the pain

Can you live my life?

Can you be as strong as I am?

Can you detach like I can and have had to?

If I am in a battle and have to choose them or me/my team… fuck yeah, us first

If there are kids with guns, well fuck, that is why you train to aim your shot, you don’t HAVE to shoot to kill, you can wound the shooting arm/hand whatever needs to be done to stop them from shooting and ask questions later

I have looked my son in the eyes when he was full on raging, needing to go from old medication to new medication for his bipolar… he tried to take a belt to me and as angry and mentally unstable as he was, I still saw the fear in his eyes and some part of him begging me to stop him

So I fucking stopped him, no one takes a belt to me unless I ask for it!

If you think men are so emotionally stable… why are there not better PTSD treatments out there! Why are there not enough men being taught that NO MEANS NO and SHE IS NOT ASKING FOR IT

if you men are so damn perfect and so damn mentally stable, then why do you have guys in the military that pose for pictures pissing on the bad guys, losing their minds and killing everyone because it is easier than thinking who is innocent civilian vs bad guy

please tell me that men have evolved to the point of perfection before you try and tell me I am not good enough to fight for my country just because I have my balls on the inside and my penis just doesn’t hang down as far as your

Am I taking this personally?



Because I have lived, not all that I want, not all that I could be but I have lived and I have FOUGHT every day for the last 21 years to do so


Other persons on fet female age 42:

What happens when a woman has her period? It’s gonna get messy and where’s she gonna take care of business in the field?

Reply to her:

Seriously? Her period…

You do know they have these things called tampons and even the guys in the unit are trained to carry them… why? Cause they stop bleeding… not just ya know, the girl kind but also the “oh fuck I’ve been shot” and fill the hole with something kind

I dunno, maybe a girl on her period might mean having a few extra tampons on hand to save a few extra lives

And since when has war been anything BUT messy?

Bah!!! I should not be reading any of this, it just boils my blood and it is because of people in power that we have so many men and women today that would fuck us over if they ever got drafted… why… oh mainly because they are not taught the value of life, watch reality tv and think in pack mentality…. we are so screwed when they grow up and take over

You people are bad for my health




yay another rant, part political

Some people really piss me off…

Ok I know that we have become a nation (speaking for USA mainly) of people that try to make everyone equal and give out trophies for people that show up to participate instead of only to those that actually make the effort to win

I know that we have become a “no child left behind” kind of bullshit world, where everyone suffers because the school system is told to dumb down to make sure that all the students pass… instead of forcing everyone to rise up and be their best and offering extra help or alternaitive means and ideas for those that need it

With that said, I have to say that I am physically ill at the idea that there are still fuckers out there of all ages, that try to say that women are not as good as men…

Now, hear me out on my rant before you blow a gasket

I am not a feminist…

I believe in a utopia that makes everyone a better person, better quality of life and better overall world… I am not a hippy or any other label you want to try and put on me

I am me…

Now here is the way I see it…

Men have always tried to hold the power, be it through religion and leadership (royalty/government/etc.), sports, military and all of that…

Men “have” to be in control and because the largest percentage of the population is either Asian or white… those have been driving forces for the longest time and it has usually been the Whiteman trying to control everything and everyone

That ended to a point and in the states, people of color got a voice… not without a battle for it. Women got a voice, not without a battle for it. You see my point… the men in power did not want to give up that power and it is still like that now.

Those in power tell us who is important, whether it is true or not

Media says that only males can be powerful athletes and rake in lots of money and get tons of air time and go on to better and bigger things… why? 

Do women not perform just as well?

Are they not also winning gold’s at the Olympics?

Who controls the media? Those in power

Does the media tell us about what is happening in the world? or do we just know about latest fashion, video games, consume more and think less

Do you know the full truth behind an event or do you just take what sounds good at face value and act like cows being herded around and later led off to slaughter

Can you even think for yourself?

Did you ever learn how?

The reason I am so pissed off today is because I am tired of everyone dumbing down and not thinking!

Everyone IS equal… why?

Because we are human and let me give you proof

Ok sure… the average male is stronger than the average female

Who is average?

Ok so let me explain how everyone is equal… it is our passion, our desire and our need to prove something to someone

Sure… with my bad health I am not able to go into the military and become a seal… I admit that… but if someone raged into my house trying to kill me and the kids, you can be damn sure I would fight like hell to make sure things ended my way!

That is my passion

I have the will to live

Now if people would get up off their ass, try and teach people to do something with that passion instead of telling them that they will never amount to anything…

I am not saying pat them on the head and give a damn trophy for trying…

Push the best to be better and TEACH THEM HOW to encourage the rest to step it up as well instead of teaching them to bully the others and make life hell

Those that learn fast and early need that extra stimulation to get them into the population and helping to build a better society

Those that learn slow need that extra help to find ways for them to become stimulated and do well for society

Just because someone is a different sex, race, religion or special medical condition does NOT mean that they have less or no value!

We are all the same… human!

We all deserve the right to a better life than those that came before us

That does not mean something needs to be freely given, it means we need to work for it, together! Instead of bitching, pitching a fit and stopping people from being their best

I fucking hate people and their selfishness, their “me first” mentality and the “oh god no I didn’t do it” attitude that has to “point the blame” to someone else

I am not a feminist… I do not agree that the feminist party has been right all along and done well for women… we are still thought of as a different race, still treated like crap and what is worse…. Think about this

Since the feminist movement families no longer eat properly, are no longer healthy, children and young adults are no longer the same quality over all because people are not around to raise them correctly, manners are gone, social values are gone and no one is teaching in school what was taught in the home or in the community

We need to unify as a race… THE HUMAN RACE… and treat everyone better, teach everyone what it means to be alive and how to live… not just how to live day to day but your whole life and how your life impacts how others live

Now all of this was brought out of my head because I happened to see one thread on fetlife, a question asked and a reply forcing its way out of my head.

Today I am suffering a flare up from my autoimmune disorder, which means I have been feeling ill and in massive amounts of pain for days and today I just can’t take it, I just can’t tolerate the stupidity of others and their blindness to the real problem

The question was asked, I made a short simple reply and then I saw some typical male be a typical ass and it set me off into writing this long intro and another long reply on fet…

The question is:

What’s Your Take? (Women in Combat Now Allowed!)

So by now you have probably heard that women will partake in combat and will train to be Seals and other groups where high risks are expected. So what’s Your Take? Is this a good decision? Opinions wanted!

My first response:

people are people
if they have the passion to be someone great, then give them the chance instead of standing in their way

Reply from male age 47:

If women are just as capable as guys, then why aren’t there any of them in the NFL, NBA, or MLB? Physically, they are not just as capable as men.

My second response triggered from male aged 47:

Money…. women are not allowed in the male sports because of money and power

Sports, military and a number of other things have been male orientated for a long time, women not being good enough, women not being qualified, and women not getting the publicity when they do prove their worth

The people in power choose who gets well known, how much fame they are allowed and who can play…

Sure… NOT ALL WOMEN are as capable as men, nor are all men big bad beefy stud muffins that can join the military, be a seal, play pro sports and win the Olympics without doing drugs…

My point is…

In passion, in motivation we are all capable of being the same… that is doing well at what we choose to put our mind and thus our bodies to whatever challenge is out there

what we need to do is stop giving a damn about gender, race, religion and all that other crap that stops us from being amazing people

Everyone is equal in one way or another…

My passion for healing others is just as strong as someone else that becomes a seal to protect/defend or the passion of someone else to play a pro sport or someone else to fight for the rights of others around the world…

Am I as strong as a guy?

That depends, which guy? How old? What weight? What is their health?

In general… we are all the same

We have passion, we have desire, we have something that motivates us

Find those people and make them the strongest at their skills, train them in other things so they gain more skills

Those that are weaker, help them find their passion and make them strong

I am not saying give them a god damn trophy and a pat on the head for showing up or participating… I am not saying that I personally, with all my health issues should be in the military but I am saying that I have the passion and I can kill to defend those I love and those I protect

What a lot of people forget is motivation

I have maternal instincts… yeah I can be all gooie and soft at the site of a new born but I can also rise up and stop at nothing to protect those that cant, to protect those new borns I was just going gaga over

The lion may be king of the jungle but where does he get his food from? Who is it that hunts for him? Who is it that protects his cubs? Who is the one that has his back should trouble rise up?

Yeah… the lioness, not one but a pack of them

So before anyone says women are not strong enough… bull shit

Stop and ask, how strong do you need to be when a fucking child in some other country is being taught to pick up a gun and shoot… 

More #Politics and the #WASP lady … more venting

I am not a democrat

I am NOT a republican

I guess some would think of me as being a member of the liberal party

Though really none of the parties out there do a good enough job of describing who I am and how I see the world or where I want the future to go as I move forward in life

I do not have a party but I do tend to vote democratic

I just had a very long discussion with a woman I randomly met at the park

I had been planning on coming here to sit at one of the pic-nic tables, type up a frenzy on breast cancer awareness month and the diet changes I have been making while being in Maryland as I visit my mother

Boy did I get side tracked…

The woman was very easy to talk with, considering she was a stranger and over all I enjoyed the short walk we took around a portion of the lake as she walked her dog… though I don’t believe she picked up after him

I did not like or agree with 90% of what she had to say or the forceful way she had to make sure she over powered the conversation but it was interesting to hear her point of view

She is an older woman, in her late 50s from the upper East Coast of the United States and very conservative but I am sure she thinks she is actually quite open minded.

She gave off the attitude of someone that really hasn’t ever suffered to get what she wants in life, a sort of entitled or elitist attitude that enjoys finding people she figures are like minded and try selling her rhetoric … a sort of preaching to the choir

I am not a member of any choir

Though I did not ask, it was very easy to see from her comments and attitude about President Obama… she is a republican …. The type I deem “of the worst sort”

I really do try not to judge… but some people make it so easy… if walks like a duck, talks like a duck, looks like a duck and is wearing a name tag saying “why yes! My name is Duck” you kind of get the idea…it’s a republican… “of the worst sort”   …I mean… its a duck

I have never shied away from the chance to hear how others think and feel but I do make a huge effort to see both sides of any subject and not limit myself to the “think inside the box” mentality

I try hard not to judge and it is a struggle but I try not to be racist, not to be sexist, not to be class orientated… I try damn hard not to judge anyone for anything… I really do

I have my own opinions and I would love it if more people shared them but I will not, for the most part, be offended if others are not as open minded as I am, as I CHOOSE to be

I grew up poor, I grew up in a broken family, I grew up being hated and feared for my different looks and my odd name

I have never been “white” as some people would like to label me

I have never been part of that culture

I was raised to think for myself instead of following the crowd and to see through the lies that others try to force feed me and I have chosen to never limit myself to any one group of people simply because others think I should

I like my Black friends, my African friends (there is a big difference), I like my Hispanic friends, I like my European friends, I like my Asian friends, does Iceland get its own category or can I add them to Europe as well? Does Australia or New Zealand get lumped into the Asian category… I like my Middle Eastern friends…

I literally have friends in damn near every country of this world, not just people I talk to or those that are white and have moved somewhere else…

I ALSO have a lot …and I mean A LOT… of gay, lesbian, bisexual, asexual, polyamouri, hermaphrodite, gender confused, transgender (post and pre op, male to female and female to male), those that crossdress, those who are fridged, those who are sluts (male and female), strippers (male and female), professional pole dancers (the kind that climb up and do those really amazing acts of strength, again male and female)…

I have friends with all kinds of mental disorders, personality disorders, multiple personalities and I have friends that are physically handicapped in one form or another and for one reason or another

I choose to find people who are like me, open minded, loving, friendly, kind, caring, and intelligent… and yes, I know that being smart is not always from going to good schools, let alone going to ANY school

I like people

I like learning different cultures

I like hearing the different languages and trying to puzzle them out

Over the years and I am only JUST turning 33 years old, but over the years I have learned enough French to do well for myself in France

I have tried learning Spanish and Italian … yes I have forgotten most of what I learned because I had to focus more on the French language but I still can understand more than what I can speak due to all three languages being Latin based

I have tried teaching myself, as a teen, Mandarin Chinese… now I do admit that I was able to learn fast and well but only while I had the tapes from the library

My best friend was the daughter of an Ambassador to the Malaysian Embassy in Washington DC and she tried teaching me her language, once again I was able to say the words well because it is like music to me and I loved it… until she left with her family to go back to Malaysia… I miss her terribly

Her mother taught me what fish can taste like

She made this WONDERFUL but simple stew of fish and rice and flavors that where so intense and the spice… oooh it was lovely

I thank her, in my head, every time I go out to dinner and have the chance to enjoy other foods from around the world, because of the fact that she shared her countries cooking with me and fed my hunger for exploring the world without having to leave home

I go to world markets or Korean markets and I will often be the only “white” woman there, sometimes I get the strangest looks from the other customers or staff as I wander up and down every isle, slowly seeing what catches my eye

I may not be able to read the language on the packaging but I know what I like and I can guess pretty well what it is I am looking at it

When I go out to eat I am good at analyzing the tastes that blend together and at those styles of markets I can tell just what I want and need to try cooking at home

I have walked into Arabic shops in London and bought only a bottle of camel’s milk, the shop keeper looks at me as if I have grown two heads but I tell him that I heard camel milk is best used for diabetics and wanted to know the taste

I have tried pig’s ear and real ox tail soup and eaten snails and cow tongue and horse and brains (ok that was nasty) and frog’s legs

I admit if I went to a country that eats other insects I would try those too, why limit yourself, learn and explore and grow. If you don’t like it… don’t do it again, easy to say but few really push those limits

But let me get back to languages

In my “youth” I started picking up on Japanese from watching enough manga and films from Japan. My 15 year old son has been trying for the last few years, on and off, to teach himself how to read, write and speak Japanese because he wants a career in manga and is prepping himself to one day move there

I used to read a lot of thick books when I was well under the age of 15 and some of those focused on the Norse mythology, from that I picked up a lot on the Icelandic words and while I was recently on a stop over from France to the states I was able to listen to the people around me speaking Icelandic… realizing I didn’t know the words but they sounded familiar and I could kind of pick up on what the jist of the conversation was about

I have listened and learned bits of Russian and other Slavic languages because I was able to listen in while my friends/coworkers where talking, one would be speaking in Czechoslovakian and the other answering in Romanian 

I do not let language stop me from talking to people!

If I have a hard time with a person who is deaf, I know how to grab a sheet of paper and chat that way. I do admit being a teen and trying to date a sweet young man who was deaf, during a time when there were no cell phones to text with and my having no internet… was a bit challenging

I mean you try being a teen and passionate over the phone while someone else is in the middle translating for the both of you *blush* not so easy but a good memory

I will not limit myself

I will not live a lie

I will not support government that wants to control who I am so that they can have a fatter pay check

I will not support the closed minded people of my parents and grandparents generation

I will be DAMNED if I encourage my children to dumb down the way society is trying to go in America. Reality TV eats at their brains, kills any potential they have for becoming better people until much older and has no value or substance to offer anyone

But just like junk food… you all seem to lap it up and think it’s just dandy. Then you wonder why your ass is fat, your health is bad, you have all kinds of mental disorders, no stamina and are brainless when it comes to thinking your way out of a paper bag

I learned nothing in school but what was going on in American history… and a tad about the Egyptians… I learned nothing of the things I went off on my own to learn such as  astronomy, how the brain functions, phycology, mythology (above and beyond the basic Greek and Roman selections) true ghost stories, astrology, gardening, birds, bugs, nature, photography, art, sex, music… how to fucking balance my check book! How to build a “better mouse trap”… as in how to think for myself and be a better person

Yes some of those things are taught but in such a boring and meaningless way… ok dates and names mean something but what… where is the substance

Why do we have black history month, it only keeps us segregate instead of teaching us about those people in history that made a difference

Where is the Native American history? Have you ever read the proverbs of the different tribes? Have you ever learned the wisdom they have to share?

Why didn’t I learn sign language in elementary school, why didn’t language classes start in the early grades when the brain soaks up that kind of information like a sponge?




How the fuck did pizza become a vegetable

Why did corporations get into schools, kids shouldn’t be drinking caffeine or sugar drinks or getting snacks in school. Their lunch should be good enough, in quality and quantity to keep them going for the day and not need the crap pick me up and the marketing

Why is it that everything I look at on the food shelves around the stores are loaded with sugar, real or otherwise and so many added ingredience that are not needed or are toxit to the body? Tell me why is it that the produce section is tiny, limited and so expensive? Tell me why it is CHEAPER to eat food of lower quality that will cause more health problems instead of being able to afford eating proper fruits and veggies to stay healthy

I don’t understand how you people can choose to let the corporations control so much of our lives and the quality with which we live in or giving power to people…like the republicans… who want to limit us from real growth

How can schools not teach real information?

Why is it in this day and age we STILLLLL worry about the color of someone’s skin or the person they are fucking or the sexual orientation

The woman I talked to this afternoon had opinions, as is her right but I do not enjoy having others FORCE those opinions down my throat and then criticize me for how I live my life because I am not as closed mind as they are

I am sorry but I won’t be “white” the way she seemed to think I should be

We are human

Yes …I will humanitize the world and the people in it

I will not say… you are poor so I should shrug you off and limit you more

I will not say… you are black and therefor stupid and inferior to me

I will not say… you are never going to be as great as I am or my race is

I want everyone to have the chance to be smarter, learn more, cross train in many things and help support others to do the same

There is no reason for people to be treated badly for the color of their skin, their hair, their disabilities, their differences

We are all different in some way or another

But we are all just as good as the next guy and should be given the chance to prove it

Empower, build up, grow, become better… teach others to do the same



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