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Let me tease you #SinfulSunday


tonight i am exhausted
too much to do this week and not enough sleep
so many ups and downs
not enough cuddles and kisses
but there has been laughter, coffee and irony
tonight i want to tease you
then i will lay back and sleep away the hours
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let me show you what i have been keeping under my thin summer covers
tonight the air is cold but my nipple is hard
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sliding of the sheets
moving slowly to tease my skin with the soft fabric
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sharing some of my secrets
would that you could dive in and enjoy the darkness
i hate to sleep alone

as every sunday

sinful fun is had but it is all about the image

Sinful Sunday

too emo to post on #SinfulSunday :(


just been too emotional

too depressed

not sad, i stop myself from feeling that as much as possible

mostly feeling overwhelmed

no safe zone

in need of aftercare without any of the bdsm pleasure

feeling very much like the universe is using me for hardcore sm challenge

i want the fun, the pleasure, the normal struggles in life

just too overwhelmed

got to spend time with TinMan yesterday

that helped and that hurt

so easy to slip into the past and hate my ex husband for stealing my life

each day i have to fight the depression that says i should be in a partnership

that my bed shouldnt be half empty

that my house shouldnt be so caotic

that my life shouldnt be so stressed

that my eldest shouldnt yell at me, saying he isnt my boyfriend… there by meaning he feels he shouldnt have so many responsibilities

i want less stress and more cooperation

more fun, less mental abuse

my son is now 18

i have been treating him like an adult for the last year

trying to train him what the real world is like

he sees me as a petty tyrant

is incapable of helping

i am his maid, his slave… cinderella with no dress, no ball, no prince charming and no fairy godmother

but i am the problem (in his eyes)

people tell me i need a vacation

that wont help

i need control over my life

but i cant seem to get that

every time i come close something comes along and cuts me down

i’m tired of being strong

i’m tired of getting abuse when trying to do my job as a mom

i’m tired of the fighting

i’m tired of being alone… as in having a wealth of friends i never to rarely see, who live their lives without me

i am tired of reminding myself not to be jealous of the happiness of others

i’m tired of people saying i need a shrink when what i NEED is a job, steady income, improved health, less stress, more friends nearby, normalcy and better language skills to cope with living in a different country

tired of not being me

i want to laugh, go to parties, host parties, go camping, go to the movies, go out for drinks, go to music events

i want a garden with beautiful plants and to have people over for a bbq

so tired of having no interest in anything because i cant afford to spend energy on wishing for what i want and knowing i wont have it

i dont want to be strong any more

i want someone to help take the weight of the world off my shoulders because i keep trying to put it down, the stuff i shouldnt be carrying but it seems magnetized and flies right back at me

feeling so lost

ok i have cried

i have vented my soul

time to go back and be strong

be what everyone seems to think i am

so here

a pic for you to oo and ah over

forgetting my words and emo crap

IMG_1702

cant go wrong with toes, sole, nipple and rounded nipples

hope your monday is less emotionally charged than mine

day 2 audio and a shower pic #NSFW


day 2 of my attempt at an audio a day for the month of may

still have yet to say something

am thinking

don’t rush me

but i did have a good night/morning chatting with a bunch of guys on twitter last night

very silly people

have missed gay men!

also missed long conversations of nothing and everything

where banter is witty and all that is needed

though boobs help

so this morning i found replies to tweets

and it was hard to pull myself away!

but had to do that whole thing of getting wet

shower you pervs!

and no, i dont play in the shower

not alone anyway

i know how boring for your fantasies haha

but here is a pic so my blogging duties are done and i can go forth and be productive!

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and audio

damn… what shall i say today!

day 2 audio a day for the month of may #SFW

black bra and a smile


just a random selfie to show i am feeling a lil more me today

11 days of migraines and i am still able to smile

clouds moved the last of the pressure out or in which ever

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but either way my head hurts less

now to dream of the one i love

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day 7 #FebPhotoFest2015


a reminder!!

go see who else is participating in this fun event!

Photofest2015

so it is day 7!!

i am sick as a dog (figuratively speaking)

suffering a mild allergic reaction to kissing someone taking codeine

i wasnt thinking and forgot how sensitive i am

so long day in bed

but i noticed the light shift a lil bit ago

it was the golden hour

i snapped off a few pictures before the light faded

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trying to catch my day dreams but just a bit off to the side… like so much of my life

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aiming the shadow, training where the daydreams should fall

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last if the gold hour

(armedwithcoffee)

poetry, shorts, and other stuff

Free thoughts

For a better communication

FlossDoesLife

Often Erotic Musings from a queer, kinky and definitely dirty girl

An Accident In Space And Time

Just your average, friendly Vulcan

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