• Blog Stats

    • 142,085 hits
  • Follow Lil Miss Shalla on WordPress.com
  • Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

    Join 1,548 other followers

  • shalla

    • Met my first asshole in #Sligo Why? Because I LOST THE GAME now you have lost it too! 2 months ago
    • Good fucking Lord! #Sligo what is wrong with you?! I have yet to meet an asshole 2 months ago
    • It's still Paddy's day I'm in a pub Omfg I'm far too sober! My fault Pacing myself 😂😂 2 months ago
  • Goodreads

  • Top Clicks

    • None
  • Top Rated

  • duh its a calendar

    May 2018
    M T W T F S S
    « Mar    
     123456
    78910111213
    14151617181920
    21222324252627
    28293031  

#Häagen-Daz humor rant/plea 😂


Yes I’m a bit mental

I fully admit that my humor is warped, twisted, sometimes dark and often not appropriate for the situation…. Any situation

I also admit that my body is often under caffeinated and if I’m on sleep dep… Things can get wonky right damn quick

So I’m scrolling, scrolling, scrolling…. Keep them pages rolling…. No no wait this isn’t rawhide…

So I’m going through Facebook to check what I missed during my few hours of sleep and the extra hours between coffee starting to kick in

I find this ad for Häagen-Daz and my humor kicks in

You see… France has ice cream

Not a huge selection though and all the companies seem to cover the same boring flavors

These flavors might be epicly fantastic but when you KNOW, FOR A FACT, that other flavors are out there… 

I might as well just eat vanilla

Preferably in what I coined “The Fat American”

Similar to a White/Black Russian in that it has vodka and coffee liquor but different as I do the following

Vodka, coffee liquor, caramel liquor, real coffee, milk and vanilla bean ice cream

It all gets blended (usually by spoon as I’m too lazy to want to wash more items that needed) into a sort of milkshake

I started calling it The Fat American because Russia already has two “similar” drinks and since it tastes better than anything I could get at a tarbucks…. Seemed appropriate

Also funny self depreciating humor since I’m an American in France and it fits with stereotypes associated with Americans 😂😂

So, back to my point

I saw this on my timeline 

And the following is what I left in the public comments… 

Enjoy your trip into the madness that is my brain…

Dear Häagen-Dazs serving France

You are failing me….

I KNOW you have a number of flavors! I’ve been to your locations in the states and other parts of Europe

Why are you failing to stock my area with all the tasty good things?!!

What have I done to displease you!!

Come back to me

I promise I’ll behave!

Love me the way I love you

Let me count the ways and show my devotion!… Preferably by counting with different flavors as I consume them 

I’m a ginger and it’s not politically correct to steal souls any more!! I need an alternative!!

Sincerely…

Someone who should not be texting with so much blood in their caffeine system

E.B. Starpointer

erotic author and sex-positive male commentator

An Accident In Space And Time

Just your average, friendly Vulcan

Exposed Loving

Be Love. Bring Love. LOVE.

%d bloggers like this: