6 of 31 March photography challenge


Today’s challenge is “happiness”

I’ve been in a panic all day trying to figure out how to capture happiness in an erotic way…

I even posted this on Instagram

I’ve been forced into being demisexual

Through my ex husband, various lovers or wannabe lovers, the Pepe le Pew style of “MeToo” chasing

I want and need the “Gomez and Morticia Addams” style of chasing, romance, affection, communication and naughty fun

But the dating world wants to focus on the Joker and Harley type of “love” or think 50 shades of crap is the Bible for Bdsm

I know better

I want better

I GIVE better

And I sure as shit DESERVE better

So if I haven’t felt the type of happiness I need, not at the levels I crave…

How can I express this erotic “happiness” without doing a “fake it to make it” feeling

This year I’m focusing on me

Healing what others have done, what life has done and what I’ve done

Since I couldn’t think of a way to be my authentic self and show it in an image

I’m going to be playful and say food porn haha

While my boys are with me, I have to play the role of Mom, which means thinking up meals and figuring out ways to inspire them to want to learn how to cook amazingly tasty things

While still staying on a budget and large enough portions to last

Part of why I’m doing this, teaching and inspiring them…

Is because I can’t find enough of the good qualities I want in a male lover

And I know there are too many mother’s bitching about the lack of help they get from their partners, as well as their older kids…

Or getting bitched at because how dare they expect their sons to do house work… “women’s work”

Everyone should know how to cook and clean, at least on a base level, so that when they go out into the adult world…

They are capable of living without someone constantly there to wipe their ass

These are life skills and they teach time management, communication, money management, group conditions, respect…

All of these are useful skills in every aspect of life

You shouldn’t chose a partner just because your mom did everything for you and want that behavior to continue into your adult life

And mom’s shouldn’t feel as if they only exist as slaves to the home

I lived through that

I sacrificed like that

I won’t do it again

I have the potential to be an amazing wife and home maker

But I refuse if I don’t feel appreciated and celebrated

And that is one of the reasons why my marriage failed… among many other reasons

And that is why I’m working on myself now

I want to be happy again

I want to have a sex drive again

I want my HIGH sex drive back!

Because I feel like a third of my personality is missing

I feel broken

While it’s not good to overly objectify others…

I don’t drool over people I find extremely my type of attractive

Take Henry Cavill as an example

Theoretically, he is an “ideal” man… At least according to what society dictates as attractive

I can easily list off his features and seemingly his personality… But most of us have seen the Witcher…

I admit, I’ve only seen him in the Witcher and Stardust but I don’t remember him in it haha

By what society says about attractiveness …

I’m supposed to be drooling, having wet dreams and fantasizing …

Ok, yes…

I am having fantasies when I look at those broad shoulders and massive arms

I fantasize about cuddles

Do you, the reader, understand how obnoxiously lame that sounds?

Even to my own ears and eyes

But because I can’t objectify him the way others do

Because I have been so badly changed and forced to become demisexual…

Because I am often having to be badass and strong to survive everything life throws in my path

My fantasy is to put down the baggage I carry, curl up in his lap, be held and rest… To feel safe and protected

So that I can recharge and keep going with my baggage

While it may seem sweet and innocent, which it is…

It’s also fucked up

That society has forced a third of my personality into hermit mode

I’m out of balance

And while I want that part of me back, I don’t want to go overboard and express the extreme side others do and at the same time, I want to FEEL something when I look at someone

Because right now, I don’t…

So fuck trying to film erotic happiness if I don’t feel it

I refuse to be fake

So instead I made an Asian influenced chicken lasagna

Sweet, spicy, creamy, peppery, savory and an orgasm for my taste buds

Sorry if today’s challenge disappoints

But it’s about me

Tomorrow’s challenge is “luck”

This I think I can do a lot more easily

#sinfulsunday morning surprise


My trip to Ireland was fun…

Though none of what I had hoped to achieve panned out

I’m a tad bitter about this but I made the most of it, even if I did not get up to very much mischief of the naughty sort

TinMan was naughty for me

While I was off galavanting through towns and a castle…

He decided to tease me with an erotic picture for the day’s I was away from him

Each morning was a wonderful surprise

Tonight he picked me up from the airport and treated me to many wonderful things…

Starting with a shower

I do love when he scrubs every inch of me

Sex is always on the menu

And speaking of menu…

Dinner was home cooked and too filling for dessert!

Click on the lips to see who’s been naughty for Sinful Sunday

Remember, it’s all about the images and really loved when “liked”, commented and shared

Sinful Sunday

dark humor “sacrificial lamb” cake


i was out and about last week

doing the shopping before my boys would spend the weekend with me

all the stores were packed with easter candy

the standard chocolate bunnies and eggs

even the rare chocolate dinosaur!!

but what really got me was the cake i found

it was shaped like a lamb

i nearly lost it at the store

i was repressing so much laughter

knowing the others around me would not understand my humor

i had to have one!

there must be a sacrifice!! hehe

i really wanted to have a barbie doll with a toy knife but well no such luck and wasnt buying one… thought about mr potato head… hehe

also saw a toy boat in my boys room

thought of laying down a protective cover and adding a lil bit of alcohol on the lamb cake

set that on fire and fake a viking pyre haha

my 14 year old was laughing hard at all my ideas

he loves my dark humor

so none of the outlandish stuff…

K.I.S.S. .. as in Keep It Shit Simple or Keep It Simple Stupid

so i sliced into the neck of the cake enough to make a gap

added some strawberries

took some of the strawberry sauce with fig and violet jam to thicken it up to look like blood

and drizzled into the cut for it to pour down

worked great

loved taking the pics and it was very tasty

so i hope you enjoy my dark humor as much as i do

sacrificial lamb cake a.jpg

ohzzz mah gawd COOKIES!! #SFWpics


holy shit my son made cookies!

IMG_1457

he is 17years old… wow 18 less than 6 months!

he is an artist, a dreamer and highly social

he loves tasty food but doesnt know how to cook much

the microwave he can use easily

stove top not too bad

but the oven worries him

he is eager to learn but gets distracted

for valentines day weekend he wanted to make cookies for his girlfriend after seeing a video on youtube

Rainbow Heart Cookies “Eugenie Cookies” – Eugenie Kitchen

but he got sick

i still bought the supplies

he just noticed them the other day and got excited

last night i stayed up late

wasnt feeling well

working on images to sell

finally got to sleep around 7:30 this morning

he randomly comes in to ask me a question while i am sleeping

later i wake up

go potty and hear him stalking me outside the door haha!

he was all excited like a happy puppy

it was adorable

i got all teary eyed

so proud of my boy!

i dont do cookies

i end up burning them to the point that hazmat should come collect the toxic waste

it is amazing to watch him surpass me

to see where we differ and how we get to the same results

he conquered his fears

so damn cool and gives me motivation to keep fighting my fears

we all feel like we arent good enough in life

simple things help make the difference

no cheese in france, letter to @SUBWAY ( @SubwayFrance )


on a funnier note… to deal with my frustration over life, the universe and food… i sent a ‘save me’ message to subway subs… cause… france doesnt have shit for cheese haha
——

dear subway subs…
i am an american living in france and for all the “lovely” cheese they have here…. they lack what i need from your chain…

please make france move their butt and make the restaurants more authentic with provolone (i need this for meatball sub!!) and all the other flavors… they only have plastic white and some kind of shredded orange and white…

i am highly disappointed that the newest location in (name edited) looks like it was really meant to be a starbucks… nice design but where is the old school print of subway maps!

i can forgive that if they get the good cheese!

in france there is no “monterey” anything, jack or pepper jack or colby!
sometimes feta and mozzarella…sometimes
the cheddar here is from the uk…not the same at all!!!
and as i stated there is no provolone!

swiss! they have swiss! france seems to think that is the only cheese which should be sold shredded… *twitch*

please… save me

and if you don’t believe the differences you should see how they mutilated pizza hut and dominos!…. TUNA pizza? *whimper*

please save me

i can’t leave… (in the process of divorce and i wont leave without my kids and he will never let them leave france)

i will happily be a minion …

lots of love

shalla

ps…for all the humor, yes this is a serious problem..help

Free thoughts

For a better communication

FlossDoesLife

Often Erotic Musings from a queer, kinky and definitely dirty girl

An Accident In Space And Time

Just your average, friendly Vulcan

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