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day 23 #FebPhotoFest2015


crap night

bitching at everyone

i over stressed my body this weekend

enjoying life and people

spent too much energy

i tend to build up and erupt like a volcano

tired of stressing

i just want to be me

feeling lonely

wanting to go home

but home is a concept not a place

when i was young i left the midwest to go to the east coast

i would have moments of homesickness

crying because i wanted to go home

and now i am in france

crying because i want to go home

but i dont want to go back

not back to the past

not back to where i am from

i want to go “home”

where the heart is

where the warmth is

easiest way i can explain it is with song

one i often heard on the radio when i was little

“Our House”- Crosby Stills and Nash

it gives me a case of “the feels”

haha.. yeah… brain is melting from being out of control

society sucks

the way we have become sucks

the fact that we are selfish in our lives and forget the rest of the people around us

sucks

it takes a community to raise a child and we dont

which sucks

and i am out of beer… which half sucks cause i have more in the cold

and having to check on google to see if he is drying well

yeah that sucks less cause he didnt claw my face off when i gave him a shower

right

beer and pancakes

less self pitty, more self love

speaking of love

what started the treasure hunt idea was “x marks the spot”

well x turned out to look more like butterfly kisses

IMG_1379 a

TinMan was brave enough to let me apply my lipstick to his sensual mouth

only using a sort of “x” mark

but things have a way of smearing and changing

i like the idea of butterfly kisses

ok going back to bed

music

beer

i think i will masturbate

good night

Photofest2015

day 22 #FebPhotoFest2015 #SinfulSunday #SundayResolution


you ever have one of those days

where everyone around you (real life, web or what not) seem to open their mouth

and their words just seem so stupid you want to tell them

“oi, you, roll your brain back up and put it where it belongs cause right now it is hanging out your mouth”

yeah i have weird days like that

checking my email just now and title of Fetlife post

“I’m a christian and conservative in Dallas…”

i did this weird face at my screen

blinked a lot

pursed my lips and lifted one of my eyebrows

literally my first thought

“yah… ok.. so like, ya want fries with that spankin’?”

of course you have to imagine that in a midwestern twang

something off saturday night live parodies

or the mom from bobby’s world

of of course… fargo!

yeah hi, i’m from wisconsin

….

ANYHOO!

….

i did the whole good girl thing yesterday

i went ice skating

i was all giddy and bouncy and all kinds of brainless fluff

the kind of high you get when you havent done shit in 10 years and you just pulled it off!

so i get up this morning

I NEED MORE PANCAKES!!!!

so i made them

yessiree bobski!

and then i lost all my energy

all my pep

and all these plans that TinMan and i had been dreaming up

ya know… more scavenger hunt ideas

cause it was sunny today….

yeah fork that!

we went treasure hunting instead

*snirk*

i did try but damn just going up the stairs and my hips went “you stupid…get your ass back in bed”

ok ok slow going

so here is our treasure hunt for you lucky lot of misfits reading my madness

IMG_1389 a

it was rather zen like, laying in the sun as TinMan drew all over me

PicMonkey Collage treasure hunt 1-4

a closer view of 1… 2… 3… 4… !!!

PicMonkey Collage treasure hunt 5-7

and here we have the rest!

5… 6… and 7!!

at first he was going to write the words with the images

but hell! why forget to draw on my back too!

haha

why not!

IMG_1407 a

TinMan had been talking about a comedian who was comparing their body to that of a map

with so many things happening over a life time

each trace of life, a mark on the map

thus a treasure map

IMG_1408 a

though honestly when he showed me this image!

i wasnt exactly sure if 7 was…

that my booty is the treasure or that my boobs are the treasure

i know he STARTED with the idea of my heart being the treasure, after seeing this i just dont know

haha

and the reason i add this to my sunday resolution list

accepting that my body is not me

it is the case that holds me

i am making changes

bettering myself

but as number 3 says

“escape hatch”

i had kids and that adds marks to the map

not good or bad

just more adventures crossed

i accept this

ok off to watch movies and relax!

enjoy your sunday

ps… kilt bear rum is awesome! and i normally hate rum

Sinful SundayPhotofest2015

day 21 #FebPhotoFest2015


she says… in french… that i am cheating!

“tu triche!!”

and he says no i don’

and the other he tries to throw balls at me

see this is what i put up with when i have friends!

i love it

i was a good girl today!!

IMG_1354

i went ice skating for 3 hour!!

currently have a cramp in my calf but worth it!

IMG_1358

and gentleclown is POKING ME!

bugger is trying to make me freak as i try to get in under the midnight wire!

brats! the lot of them

it’s great

so cheating :p

old pick

i need more kink

IMG_8440 sm

the first gag i ever made

requested by a webcaller

on a happy note!

i held her balls in my hand!!

IMG_1367

they where tasty!!

Photofest2015

day 20 #FebPhotoFest


more and more i find myself lost in dreams

waiting for spring

wanting the sun

wearing summer dresses

laying in bed

daydreaming of adventures to come

exploring the forest

walking through fields

picnics by the lake

coffee licked off your lips

a hand slipped up my thigh

higher and higher

my dress fluttering in the breeze

lost in my dreams

in reality i lay on my bed

wishing for the warmth

to watch that warmth color your cheeks

your eyes on my chest

seeing me pull loose the strings at my chest

IMG_1338 a

ah how i day dream

of kisses

your hands on me

sensual spring

IMG_1348 a

till then i have my bed

my dress

my dreams

Photofest2015

day 19 #FebPhotoFest2015


not feeling well tonight

overly tired like i haven’t slept in day

souls feeling heavy inside of me

needing the new start that the year of the sheep will bring

letting go of the past pains

keeping the past pleasures

finding myself

redefining me

needing that change

being active instead of passive

so

maybe tomorrow i start ice skating

facing my fears

moving forward

slow but steady

small steps

tonight

i need your arms around me

feeling safe and warm

i need to sleep

recharge

IMG_8728 a

not many days left in the month

will this end the fear of writing

will i keep taking pictures or be inspired to put fingers to the keys

tapping out my thoughts and feelings

my dreams and passions

Photofest2015

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