If i can’t…


note: this was written about The Major, he has been and will always be one of my muses. Today (12/30/13) I recorded this to audio, I hope you enjoy 

https://audioboo.fm/boos/1823898-if-i-can-t

If I can’t have you, I want him…

I know that I can’t have him either but I can press play and listen to his voice, so rich and deep, the volume up as loud as I can take and encasing me in his song.

Feeling loved, wanted and understood by someone even though he is singing for the world and not just me.

If I can’t make love to you, I want his voice seducing me…

I don’t care that more often than not his words bring me to tears from their country twang and sad note… but still I listen and sing along and love him without any real depth to it…

His words understand me, even if not written for me and they know my pain, my joy.

His voice knows just what I need to hear.

He doesn’t know me but makes me relax enough to bounce and move, swing and sway, dance to his sounds and tracing the notes with my hands in the air… so rare for me to show how much I love to dance to the music…

If I can’t have you, I want him

His kiss, his gentle touch and the passion I know we could have that will never touch me…

Then again, no matter how much I want you… I know your touch will never reach me either.

So if I can’t have you… well…

Putting on my headphones, sounds seducing my ears, I will take the love I want even if I can’t have the love I need

Is it wrong..


written 2011

note: we moved the current toilet and added in an extra one, to do this meant having a plumber come in. he couldn’t be bothers so he left his 19yr old assistant there to do all the work of adding pipes, installing things and damn he was hot

i mean honestly i have never wanted to see plumbers crack before but ..god…whimpers

is it wrong that i want to molest the young plumber?
he has this lean frame that cries out for bondage and being pinned down and molested in so many fun ways

i have never wanted a strap on so badly as i do right now

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