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    May 2021
    M T W T F S S

I dont want to swim

written 1 month ago

note: i may be highly social but i always feel like i dont quite fit in

I watch you, I mingle, I talk… but all the time I watch you

I know that I am an outsider, no matter how many people I have on my friends list…

I sit on the edge dangling in my toes

I will forever be the “Newbie” joining those at the table, with the evil sign that might as well say fresh meat.

The new people are the ones that fascinate me…

They just don’t know, they are so shy, so nervous about getting their feet in the water

So here I am, knowing just enough of the older crowd but sitting at the edge learning the new people and helping them find where they want to be.

I am social, I love new people, new experiences and I know how painful it can be to not fit in…

So say hello, I will help you relax and then you can run off and dive in, your feet will be wet and you will be ready for more to come

I don’t want to swim, I don’t want to dive in, I want to tan on the edge

The strapon

written 1 month ago

note: i visited my male friend, he had bought some fun toys and i got to use some of them on him, he is not gay or bi but really loves his ass being played with

Your eyes are beautiful, your smile is what I crave and you are the sweetest friend I have…

Feels so relaxing to snuggle up in your arms, hold you tight as you sleep, to be the one that watches over you…

There is something in you that calls out for me to be gentle, to take care of you and love you even if just for one night.

But that ass…

You have this beautiful ass that makes me want to use and abuse it.

Just feels so good to run my hands over you jeans when in public, pinch and pat when on the tube.

Get you home and strip you down, turn you on and get out the toys…

The first time I saw what you had bought I was shy but excited, I had always wanted to try a strapon.

After a while I just had to try it, put the straps up over my thighs.

Tighten up each one and adjust how the cock hangs between my legs.

I feel so naughty standing there, excited and knowing I have something new to try

I know to use lube, to use lots of it and go slow.

You know I am a gentle lover, I will make sure you are ok, that everything feels good and doesn’t hurt in ways it shouldn’t…

Turning on that lil bullet, feeling the vibration and then slowly sliding into you

I was so wet, so excited, taking control and fucking your ass… such a high

But next time I want to use my toy, I just bought it and mine has something to please me instead of just teasing me…

The shower

written 1 month ago

note: this lover is 49, he is amazingly sweet, so funny and treats me like gold.. 

So embarrassed…

standing there, dirty from sex and sweating.

I don’t do well just standing there, naked and waiting.

I don’t know what to do with myself and I am left unsure of what to do.

I am a squirter, so no matter how safe the sex I end up a mess with my cum all over my legs and fanny, or more places depending on the play.

It couldn’t be helped, he excited me so.

It has been such a long time since I felt so dirty, so wet all over.

Sure I have had little orgasms but lately men just haven’t been able to keep up with me or haven’t put in the effort.

Not this gentleman, he treated me right, a real man.

I know age shouldn’t matter and have been with young lads in their 20s, I won’t go for younger, but the younger ones on average are just too much like boys.

Not this one, he held me down and tied me up when I proved to be too difficult.

He knew just what buttons to push or lick or suck and made me scream so loud… it’s been a while since someone has paid attention to me.

Here I am now, naked, dirty, feeling like an idiot as he looks at me. Helping me into the bath, he has me stand there as he wets me down with the water.

I feel so embarrassed by this and I can’t tell why.

He has seen me naked, felt every inch of me and found me beautiful but there is something so painful to me… being inspected, being watched…

Soft strong hands work their way over my body, washing away the sweat and cum, taking away the excitement.

Slowly rubbing soap into his hands before running them once again over my skin.

I watch him watching me and god I want to run away.

I hate this, I hate being on display for him and yet I stand there and watch him enjoying the touch of my flesh under his hands.

Once again with the water, it flows over me softly as he controls where the spray goes.

I am still embarrassed to be standing there but slightly more relaxed, it is almost over.

Taking a towel he dries me off and holds me tight, once again I am safe and protected.

No longer on display, no longer feeling judged.

All along he has found me beautiful, funny how fear can make you feel anything but beautiful…

met a young lad and had him tell me a story…

written one month ago

note: no i still have not properly written anything for this young man but will do so soon

i am very good at meeting people from all over the world, from all walks of life and all sorts of kinks.

i met this one young lad of 22, it turns him on that i am older (by 10yrs!) and i am also safe… i dont judge people by their kinks, profession or any number of things…

i found out he likes to be humiliated, he has been pestering me to have him make me a personalized picture of something that will please me

being out and about in london i just have not had the time or the privacy to think up something that would be suitably humiliating for this boy

you know that if i do something i want to do it really fucking well! i also want the privacy to masturbate to what i have him send me

so i asked him to write me what he has done already, where he was left wanting and what more he would like to do. the better to understand him and gain some trust i can better use him

its all in the mind before it ever reaches the orgasm…

so these are the words of @kibble


Okay, so you’ve asked me to write about my experiences etc, and I think I’m about to get a bit too excited doing it!

So when I can’t get play in real time, I settle for the next best thing…online play! Although unfortunately it’s a horrible game to play, there are way too many fakes online, one being ‘Domme’s’ who think because they look good deserve everything they want – money being very high on that list – so when you find someone who’s genuinely into online play, it’s a great feeling.

Over my time of online searching, I’ve found a couple of genuine Domme’s as well as a close personal friend of mine who is now – unfortunately for me – engaged. I’ve been asked by a very beautiful and sexy woman to tell about my experiences and how it made me felt and for the chance to please her, I have willingly accepted.

My first experience with an online Domme was one afternoon, I was on yahoo messenger and I asked her if she would be interested in using a sub for her amusement, expecting the usual ‘no, fuck off’ answer I’d become accustomed to. Luckily, she came back and told me she wanted a picture of me stripped, on my knees with a sign saying “** bitch” visible – obviously her name isn’t **, but I’m not mentioning names here. Excited, I got straight to it. I stripped completely, feeling a rush of adrenaline, knowing that in a few minutes this Domme was going to have a picture of me like no one had ever seen before. As soon as I sent it, she told me I was a good boy and she didn’t think I’d follow through with it but as I’d been good, she’d reward me by putting it up on her website for all to see. If I’d been excited before, I was beaming now. Finally, someone had used me and I was going to be rewarded by being put up on a website…something I had never thought would happen.

I was so turned on by this that over the next few weeks and months, I kept begging her to give me more picture tasks, more pictures to go up on her website and eventually she got back to me with a request of –

Face pic
Body pic
Cock pic

and two more pictures, but to surprise her with them. There were 3 conditions –

Across my chest should be written “** ***** slut whore” and on each of my thighs should be written “pathetic” and “cumslut”
2 clothes pegs on my tongue, a clothes peg on each nipple
A shoelace tied around my cock and balls

So I got to it. More adrenaline. More excitement. I took all 5 pictures, sent all of them to her in a hurry so I couldn’t back out of it and while on my knees, still with every clothes peg on, looked in the mirror at how pathetic I looked and masturbated.

I’d finally realised just how much I loved humiliation, so it would be my mission from now on to find someone who’d want to humiliate me on a daily basis! Still haven’t found that someone though.

The last I heard from this Domme was when she told me she wanted me to be live on cam for her while she recorded it, she’d have me in a similar situation as before, except I’d beg to masturbate, cum on a plate and then beg to clean the plate with my tongue. The entire thought of this made my head spin, I was gagging for this to happen but I never heard back from her.

The next Domme was a one time thing, I’d spoken to her for a while on a fetish site and eventually she mentioned humiliation and if I was into it, so I told her about the Domme before her. She was impressed that I craved the humiliation, so told me to go out, buy a thong and take a picture of myself wearing it. This was too good of an opportunity to let pass, so I went out, bought the thong (feeling quite weird knowing it was for my own use) and came straight back home. As I stripped and put it on, I felt really shitty, thinking how pathetic I must have looked, but “whatever” I thought, “you’re fucking loving this you slut”.
Took the picture, sent it and never heard back from her again. Oh well, on to the next one!

This one was more of a personal thing, the best one yet, as I’d known this girl for nearly 3 years – although I’ve never met her.

I was chatting to her one day and it somehow came up about what I’d done and how I love it. She told me it sounded fun, so the logical thing to do was to ask her if she wanted to try it with me. Thankfully she didn’t think I was a weirdo and agreed to control me on cam. It started off tame – she made me masturbate on cam whilst asking if I could touch myself and cum. Over time though, I asked her if she could be a bit more evil – give me picture tasks etc, more humiliation on cam. I’d told her about the whole cum on a plate thing and she said that sounded so fun – next thing I knew I was naked, on cam with a plate infront of me. She told me I had to beg for everything – to touch myself, to pull my cock and eventually to cum. I didn’t know she had it in her, I was in heaven. This girl I’d known for a while, completely controlling me…knowing that if she wanted to, she could tell everyone I knew about this kink of mine…I was about to blow my load without even touching myself.

I was there, I was begging to cum, she said no. I begged again. And again. Over and over until I was screaming it. She let me. My warm load over the plate – and I had to lick every last drop up. It was the dream I’d been wanting for about 6 months…finally happening. I begged to lick it up, to swallow every last drop. She let me do that straight away, laughing at how much of a pathetic slut I looked. I didn’t care, I was in ecstasy.

Since then, she’s got a boyfriend, they’ve got engaged and I’ve only had one ‘event’ with her since. She had me take 5 pictures for her amusement, no requirements, just 5 pictures of my choice, as long as I felt humiliated she said, they’d do. Since then I’ve not found anybody else online, and it’s a bit of a shame since when done right, it can be quite fun

Up and gone

written 3 months ago

The day starts like any other, time passes, things happen and all along the way you know that something is missing.

Really you cant explain what that something is but you feel it like a void and try to ignore the emptiness as the day drags on.

Wake up, keep those eyes open long enough to register that the alarms have stopped going off and the numbers on the clock tell you that you have slept past the time you needed to get up by.

Oh, if only you could give it another 5 minutes but that would pass to 10 and then before you know it hours would go by and then you will have missed the day and all that needed to get done in it.

So you lay there a second, eyes trying to focus on staying open, body aching from badly sleeping in the night and you give in to the need to get up and start the day. You don’t want to but some days its just what needs to be done.

The water is steaming hot as it falls over your head, down your shoulders and back. Waking you bit by bit, stealing away the sleep from your eyes and giving a false sense of energy… just enough to help get you dry and dressed.

Coffee, the tool you need to really take off the last bits of sleep hanging around your body and your mind.

Laying naked on your bed I watch you as you slip away from me and take your shower. I make the bed and wrap myself in my satin robe and lay back down on top of the sheets, it is you that has to rush off so I wait for you to be done so I stay out of your way.

My robe is short, exposing my ass and legs. You walk in naked and dry, sexy, strong, I have been wet for you all night and would give so much to pause the clocks, to stop time and have you slip into me as I lay there on your bed.

You touch my legs, just a simple run up them with the tips of your fingers and I can feel my excitement rising but I know you cannot stay with me.

I lay there watching you and that tingle gets worse but there is nothing I can do, I cannot grab you and tie you down.

I cannot stop you from walking out on me when all I want is to drag you back to bed, have sex with you till we both pass out and sleep the day away… but you have your priorities and I understand so I make no move to stop you.

Dressed you walk out, I hear the door close and lock behind you… no time even for that coffee you so desperately need.

Rolling over onto my back, robe sliding open and exposing my wet fanny and full breasts…

I ache for you but let the cool air calm my skin and wick away the wetness. I don’t see the point of playing without you.

Instead I take a shower, knowing that same steaming hot water that ran over your body was now touching mine and dry myself with the same thick towel you used.

Holding it tight around me wishing it was you.


poetry, shorts, and other stuff

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