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    May 2021
    M T W T F S S

Julie London “I’d like you for Christmas” #SinfulSunday

Sinful Sunday

note: i no longer have a good computer with all the things like programs to check my spelling or auto correct if i am too lazy to use proper capitalization… sorry to anyone that noticed the difference


i have had a horrible time trying to think up what i should say for the holidays
though it is always about the pictures
you know i have always wanted to paint my words so that they glide through your mind and you see my world

this event has caused me a lot of inner turmoil

i hate the holidays

all of them…

mainly because i have always had to work or never had that family feel… even as i grew older and had a family of my own

the holidays have always been a horrible time for me
a reminder of what i don’t have, will never have or how people make me…no..have MADE me feel as if i was worthless

so many lives lost around the holidays
so many ghosts that haunt me
so many pains and regrets

but that is the past
i am trying to move on
the divorce will help
starting over will help
and for this moment in time, having a beautiful man in my life is helping

i feel i can get away with using the word “beautiful” because for me it is something beyond looks
something far more attractive to me


ha, reading this he will be scared and think i place him on a pedestal
i don’t
i have just learned to appreciate what i have in my life… who i have in my life
see them for what they really are and acknowledge it

so this Christmas song..

i decided to avoid my favorite
“i hate people” from the 1970 version of Scrooge with Albert Finny
fits so well after spending over a decade working costumer service haha


or there is

“the closing of the year” from the movie Toys

ah how that one has warmed my heart on many occasions when i just wanted the holidays to be voided from the universe and the pain i have always felt to be voided along with it

but this year, though i have suffered so many horrible things that i would not wish on anyone…

i do have someone sweet

someone i want to thank and i hope…

someone that will stay till the next holiday on the list

maybe a few more holidays after that too

so here begins the song i have chosen
and yes
all photos are mine, taken from different points in my few years

happy holiday

to which ever you celebrate and many happy moments with as much kink as possible

my Christmas kink wish is simple…

i need romance and aftercare, to heal the harm that has been done


. . .




I’d like you for Christmas


Please make my wish come true
Cus’ I’d trim trees and deck the hallways


If I knew you’d be mine for always
I won’t be blue on Christmas
If old Saint Nick comes through
And he remembers that I’d like you for Christmas
New Years, Easter, too…

She’d like you for Christmas (chorus)
Please make my wish come true
Cus’ she’d trim trees and deck the hallways (chorus)
If she knew you’d be hers for always (chorus)
I won’t be blue on Christmas
If old Saint Nick comes through
And he remembers that I’d like you for Christmas
New Years, Easter, too…

One month and a fetlife question answered

Note: One gentleman on fetlife asked the following question and I not only replied there but felt the need to post it on my blog.

He asks: What’s the most romantic thing someone has ever done for you?



I have been with my sub/dog for a month as of yesterday…

He tells me last week that he has a surprise for this weekend and wants to know how long I can stay

I HATE surprises, too many times disappointed and hurt badly by ex’s and husband, only so many years of that kind of mental abuse to were you have ptsd of getting a gift and feeling worthless

But I can tell this means so much to him, I tell him why I hate surprises and don’t do well with gifts but allowing him to try this one time

I get there late Friday night (leaving hubby with the kids) and because it snowed over the weekend I ended up staying till this (Monday) morning

The fridge was full of tasty but health treats that lasted the weekend, he planned well just in case

but his gift was that he went out and bought new sheets, cover for the duvet/blanket (one fits over the duvet like a large pillow case, not something I am used to in the states and changed how the whole bed looks no matter what covers you use) and pillow cases

The pillow cases in beautiful deep red of some sort of material I don’t know the name of in English and the bedding in black ribbed satin… I don’t know what it cost for everything but I found a way to sneak a peek at the pillow case container (he was showing me material and tying to translate) through the blacked out price I saw that one pillow case was 17€

It was a simple gift, nothing flash/big but very elegant and made me feel special

I don’t get gifts, I get excuses, disappointment and trash

I don’t have high standards to meet, I have been beaten down so many times by lovers/bf’s/whatever for the last 19yrs and longer if you count family and friends

Because of all of that I am no longer selfish

So his gift is partly what I have told you but the other part is him helping to repair myself worth… I KNOW how wonderful I am and how great I treat others and lives I have saved and changed for the better blah blah blah… but I still feel the abuse long after it stops and keeps me awake crying at night

So yeah… really it wasn’t the stuff he gave me… it was him… he is my gift


i took this picture of my dog, on the new sheets, drugged on lust… passion…affection… something that will never be manufactured in a lab or sold from a shelf


Comment on blob by #RaceBannon

note: the following is my long winded, rambling comment to race bannon, author of the fabulous book “learning the ropes”, if you are in the kink/bdsm scene or curious about it, i highly recommend his book

this is a comment to the following blog that he wrote

BDSM Education, Has It Gone Too Far



what i had to say:


currently reading your ebook on my kindle, refreshing my mind from the last time i read your book (left that at moms house *grin*) and enjoying the updates added in.

would like to say that i feel education is a must for all things in life… but some people will take things to the extreme and then everything goes tits up, which makes the fun stop

i have been studying the mind, kink/bdsm and erotic art since i was 12 (21yrs) in an effort to try and understand why people behave the way the do and where they want to go with what ever it is that interests them.

i did a short stint on the radio as a “sex therapist” (just a fun gig, i was open, vocal, without fear or taboos and funny) and it scared me that some people would ask stupid questions! i know that no question should be stupid but ignorance is deadly

i understand that in all aspects of life we need to learn more, grow more and be the best we can be for ourselves and treat others with respect and kindness… but there are those out there that have been beaten down by society and are too shy to really come out of the closet and learn to play

it scares me when grown adults dont know their body, dont know the difference between cum and pee and squirting. that grown adult males dont know that they should size their cock to get a better fitting condom so that they will enjoy sex when they wear one. it scares me when people have no common sense!

i understand that having a class can be a good thing… group of people to make friends with, be yourself around, maybe a hook up on the side or come together better as a couple, learn some skills in what ever you chose to learn… it CAN be a great thing to take a kink class

often i find that too many people…newbies (what ever age)… tend to be in a frenzy to just dive in and dont stop to think …RACK? SSC? no, it means nothing to them even if you say what the letters mean

it scares me horribly that people dont think any more

but on the other side of it, taking the lessons to the extreme is a bad thing and is just as stupid as not having common sense

one of my favorite quotes: “everything in moderation, including moderation”

…oh and one thing i dont like about the book with the area about misconceptions… and this really bugs me a lot…

yes, kink can be likened to love making … but one has to remember that kink/bdsm does NOT have to have sex in it… but sex CAN have kink/bdsm in it



question from fetlife: Women who read sex blogs…

title: Women who read sex blogs…

question: What types appeal to you most? What subject matter really piques your interest? What’s the tone of the writer? Does it have pictures? What makes a good sex blog, for you?

note: i am keeping the posters name out of this, i will only share my view and not that of others answering the same question


i write one (lil miss shalla on wordpress) and have a number of friends in the uk that are also bloggers, published authors in kindle format or hardcopy and erotic photographers that do a bit of writing as well

i like following what my friends have to write, such as molly’s daily kiss and her other blog sinful sunday… which is a contest of other bloggers to see who gets the most votes and helps you know who else is writing

i like the personal touch, getting into my friends minds and understanding that side of them as well as guessing who in the group has been sleeping where and inspiring what madness

i also like seeing the differences between what i write, my world and what goes on in it vs someone like meg philip who is a lively, wonderful, sensual woman that writes her imagination and i have seen her when she gets lots in thought over a random thing that passes her eyes

or there are some great writers out there that will speak of the simplest of everyday objects and seduce you in such a way you feel he has been talking only of your naughty bits instead of that mantle on the fireplace… i forget his name as i have never read his blog only heard him on stage as he speaks in a deep but soft voice that reminds me of tim curry

or learning more about sex and kink and health and the mind set involved in all! meeting the author of the joy of sex.. or the lady garden project which inspires a lot of woman to be empowered when thinking of their body

these people that write… they are real, they are like me and though they may not write down all that they do, create more imagination that telling of the days events…
they stimulate my mind

if you cannot touch my mind
turn me on with the sensual thoughts, conversation, intense bonding that only happens through the mind…

how do you ever expect to please my body

porn… is like tv.. it rots the brain, teaches you nothing but lies (in the rain shows you will learn something) and gives you a false negative image of yourself and others
its entertainment only

but erotica… the blogs and literature and art and music.. etc..
it calls to the soul, touches in deep and teaches you what is possible and how to recognize what you want and chase after it

Warnings and Disclaimers


i have a brain in my head and i use it

i share my thoughts and most of them are 18+

i take no responsibility if you are under 18 and choose to read what i say

i take no responsibility if you find what i have to say offensive

these are MY THOUGHTS and MY FEELINGS i share them in the hopes of making people grow up and be better people….


poetry, shorts, and other stuff

Free thoughts

For a better communication


Often Erotic Musings from a queer, kinky and definitely dirty girl

An Accident In Space And Time

Just your average, friendly Vulcan

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