#Häagen-Daz humor rant/plea 😂

Yes I’m a bit mental

I fully admit that my humor is warped, twisted, sometimes dark and often not appropriate for the situation…. Any situation

I also admit that my body is often under caffeinated and if I’m on sleep dep… Things can get wonky right damn quick

So I’m scrolling, scrolling, scrolling…. Keep them pages rolling…. No no wait this isn’t rawhide…

So I’m going through Facebook to check what I missed during my few hours of sleep and the extra hours between coffee starting to kick in

I find this ad for Häagen-Daz and my humor kicks in

You see… France has ice cream

Not a huge selection though and all the companies seem to cover the same boring flavors

These flavors might be epicly fantastic but when you KNOW, FOR A FACT, that other flavors are out there… 

I might as well just eat vanilla

Preferably in what I coined “The Fat American”

Similar to a White/Black Russian in that it has vodka and coffee liquor but different as I do the following

Vodka, coffee liquor, caramel liquor, real coffee, milk and vanilla bean ice cream

It all gets blended (usually by spoon as I’m too lazy to want to wash more items that needed) into a sort of milkshake

I started calling it The Fat American because Russia already has two “similar” drinks and since it tastes better than anything I could get at a tarbucks…. Seemed appropriate

Also funny self depreciating humor since I’m an American in France and it fits with stereotypes associated with Americans 😂😂

So, back to my point

I saw this on my timeline 

And the following is what I left in the public comments… 

Enjoy your trip into the madness that is my brain…

Dear Häagen-Dazs serving France

You are failing me….

I KNOW you have a number of flavors! I’ve been to your locations in the states and other parts of Europe

Why are you failing to stock my area with all the tasty good things?!!

What have I done to displease you!!

Come back to me

I promise I’ll behave!

Love me the way I love you

Let me count the ways and show my devotion!… Preferably by counting with different flavors as I consume them 

I’m a ginger and it’s not politically correct to steal souls any more!! I need an alternative!!


Someone who should not be texting with so much blood in their caffeine system

Dunno ’bout you but….

I’m in some serious need of a good cock…

Granted spelling is a little different and the size of just a touch too big haha

Stopped at a specialty brew shop in Poitiers, Le Houblon… 

Very cute shop and a gentleman with fantastic knowledge of the product… 

Good sense of humor too and that’s important since I’m such a chatty Cathy of wit and snark

So many choices, even the more unusual ones like the Black Perle… Coffee flavored!!

Didn’t buy it but did pick up the stronger version hehe

Also a blueberry version!

Will post pictures later and give a review or few

innocent blog…COOKIES!!!

made cookies the other day but that all went to shit when i had to leave for a doctor appointment

i had been at the… i hate saying this… his house… Ze Ex in training (hubby to those that havent been paying attention)

had been baking cookies with my 6yr old as the other two played on the various games with some friends

the batch was looking good

think sugar cookie mixed with chocolate bits and chocolate wanna be mini m&m’s that the french call smarties

i made everything the way i wanted, poured it out and popped it in the oven


crud knockers!

was running late, seems i do that really well these ..years…

left for the dr appointment (ear was pounding me a new one, like having a tens electrical machine attached to the inside of my ear)

get a text from him asking what to do about the cookies

he takes the simple route and lets them cook longer

thus over baking into hard rock

bah humbug


i get back, save the last of the homemade dough and bring it back to the boy friend’s place


today i got the urge to finis making the batch but decided to make them into mini muffin cookies instead of…

well… when do i EVER do anything NORMAL…

so yeah, muffin cookies instead of normal cookies


taste great, slightly hard top but soft for the rest of the way through 😀


and pictures to prove it… just like i said i would earlier today while on twitter


Cooking with a redhead

People have been floating around the picture of breakfast cupcakes… slices of ham in a cupcake wrapper with an egg cooked inside, sunny side up

I have tried this before, never bothering with a recipe but I am sure I could have found one on the net if I had the interest… I didn’t

Instead I tried it, using reasoning and logic… as well as a touch of mad scientist for adding in things I would find tasty

They were ok

I should have put tinfoil or something to cover as the cooked

The eggs looked perfect but in reality they had a feel and thickness as if someone had gone mad in a latex company… not how I want my eggs but great for taking pictures


Yesterday the lovely lady of “Geeky Redheads, and their Supporters/Admirers” page on Facebook, posted the picture again of the breakfast cupcakes and I decided to cook my version tonight

They do not look the same as I went for a more quiche like effect but they taste amazing and ingredience can be varied…



I chopped a bunch of onions (more than I needed for the meal so I set some aside for later), sautéed them in butter (but you could use oil), a lil salt and near the very end added in some beef flavoring in powdered form (you could add the veggy version instead)

Set that all aside…

In a grinder I added the following herbs and spices:

Basil, garlic, parsley, paprika, chives, shallots, white/black pepper, salt and a very slight amount of chili pepper

Set that all aside…

Took 16 eggs, added some shredded swiss (I would rather use cheddar or mozzarella but they don’t sell that shredded in france) and 3 table spoons of mustard… buzzed that up together and then added the herb/spice mix

I used 2 muffin tins designed for making extra-large muffins

Lined each section with a sheet of tin foil first to fit the shape and then a sheet of baking paper to keep help the cooked version slide out easily (yay less clean up)

Then took two slices of salami, added spoon and a half of the sautéed onions, more shredded cheese and poured in some of the egg mix (stirring each time prior to pouring the egg mix)

Because my oven is small, I folded up the tips of the baking paper, snipped them off and folded the long parts of the tinfoil over the top which also helps regulate the cooking

I baked the two muffin trays at 200° for 30 minutes on the setting that has a fan (I use that for damn near all my cooking)

They were not fully done (checked by inserting fork and the tips came out slightly wet) so I rotated the trays from top to bottom and also turned them around to help balance the baking

Not the prettiest things on earth but paired with a salad or cooked veggies or a nice soup… would be lovely

They were very tasty and filling, it equals about 2 eggs per “muffin”

I could have used a bit more mustard (always spicy mustard in this house) and I think if I would have used a tomato sauce instead of mustard then I would have used a layer of mozzarella

I am sure I could come up with another version of this, already thinking about possibly using bbq sauce or curry or maybe one with crab meat or salmon… hmmm…

Dammit! I can’t stop thinking!!

So yes… that was what I made for dinner


Potatoes and meat, food blog

Tonight was the first time I had cooked a large meal in a while

I have missed it, the tools I know, the ingredience I have grown fond of and dancing around the kitchen to the music on my headphones

The ideas flowing through my head as I look at what I have to work with

Potatoes, cream, cheese, meat, sauces I can mix together and an oven waiting for me to turn it on…

So I decided I would share with you what madness I created and pictures as I cooked… always with cleaned hands

I started with the meat, a pork roast and decided I could do so many other things with it…


Cutting off the binding, trimming up any fat, lining the baking dish with the fat and cutting the meat into chunks

Adding spices to the pan


Things like garlic, ginger, white/black pepper, paprika, parsley, lil bit of chili powder, chives and added a few pickled onions I had left over from other meals

Layered the meat over the spices

With the last of the vinegar from the onions I mixed into the jar some spicy mustard, soy sauce, maggi sauce and a mixture of balsamic vinegar and olive oil

Pouring that sauce over the meat that is sitting over the spices


Cover in tin foil and let sit for at least 30mins

I put it in the oven to keep it out of the way while I started in on cooking other things

Next I took some potatoes and made them soft in the pressure cooker, while those were getting soft I mixed the following to make a sauce

Yogurt, sour cream, milk, swiss cheese, parmesan cheese, salt, garlic and a lil mustard


Used the swirl and … you should have seen the hand gestures I just did asking the hubby what the hell that thing is called…

Ummm… it’s the magic wand that mixes… has rotary blades… did I mention it is handheld?

Fuck I am losing my English and don’t have the French equivalent!! Ah well I took a pic of it!


So I used THAT THING to make everything into a liquid state… as I cackle madly while I type this

Random comment, just took a sip of the drink hubby handed me, did way more than the whiskey face plus shudder and twitch while asking in high pitched voice… did you mix it!!!

Ah the random side to writing a blog about the past while still being in the moment…

Welcome to my world, I aint gonna change now!

So making everything into a liquid state I set that aside and put it in the fridge

Once potatoes were soft and kind of cool to handle, no burning my fingers off!

I sliced them and layered the dish twice, each time adding cheese and…

ooo topping, forgot to mention that… again welcome to my scatter brained world, hope you read this fully before even TRYING to copy me lol

Right, I would have used lardon but they have too much of the type of fat that bothers my gut so instead… I used spam!

Amazingly enough spam doesn’t bother me the same way as lardon or other types of bacon like meat

So I took a lil bit of oil, chopped up the spam small and added some shallots and an onion to a pan, fried it all up and set aside


So yes, where was I…

Layer of potatoes, scatter some of the spam and onion mix, add swiss and then do it a second time using up the last of the supplies

Then you carefully pour the sauce all over top, if you run out of sauce you use a spoon to full in missing areas and then make a smaller second batch of the sauce but leave out the milk, add more salt that the first time and less mustard

I cooked the meat first, slow cooking in the oven for an hour and a half

When the alarm… NOT THE FIRE ALARM… went off I added the potatoes to the oven and cooked both for half an hour at 200

Don’t ask me what those numbers mean in the states I just know what my oven does here

Dinner was great, everyone dug into the potatoes but sadly they needed more cheese than I had on hand

Would have loved some cheddar or red leister … I think that is how you spell it

So yeah that was my dinner, wanted to make a clafoutis for dessert from the frozen fruit we saved from last year’s harvest… but time ran out

Cooked it up and separated the juice to add to that drink I had earlier in the post… the one that made me do the whisky sourpuss face lol

Right… I have written this, I have added the pics, will post then drink a lot, get horny and have sex





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