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    June 2021
    M T W T F S S

feeling a bit more like me … reply to fetlife question “What is sexy to you?”

it has been a while since i paid attention to the words on fetlife

the different types of games or questions

but tonight one caught my eye


(permission given to use his “name”)


What is sexy to you?

pretty random really. Random words even. What sparkles you?


confidence without arrogance
sensuality with passion
shy.. yes you can be shy and confident
good voice
good accent
mmmm good command of language, combining voice and accent with proper cadence
speaks more than one language
strong but gentle hands
loves to kiss
above all…romantic

now… if i can have that all rolled up into a military man…



i know that some will read this and may have hurt feelings

i know some will think they know who i am talking about

but how many will realize i am talking about myself and some of the best loves to have walked into my life

lovers as well as friends

those who know me well can pick themselves out of each word written

or combinations of words

and the ones who know me best will understand how all of the list is me twisted to show the more masculine or dominiant side of my personality

i am a complicated woman who needs my equal

a shieldmaid to fight beside the sword

i know it is hard to find all that i am in someone else

though i do have a bit of a twin halfway around the world

i enjoy seeing the similarities in those i love

and embracing the differences too

thank you superdooper00 for inspiring me tonight

my words are simple

yet it feels good to write again

One month and a fetlife question answered

Note: One gentleman on fetlife asked the following question and I not only replied there but felt the need to post it on my blog.

He asks: What’s the most romantic thing someone has ever done for you?



I have been with my sub/dog for a month as of yesterday…

He tells me last week that he has a surprise for this weekend and wants to know how long I can stay

I HATE surprises, too many times disappointed and hurt badly by ex’s and husband, only so many years of that kind of mental abuse to were you have ptsd of getting a gift and feeling worthless

But I can tell this means so much to him, I tell him why I hate surprises and don’t do well with gifts but allowing him to try this one time

I get there late Friday night (leaving hubby with the kids) and because it snowed over the weekend I ended up staying till this (Monday) morning

The fridge was full of tasty but health treats that lasted the weekend, he planned well just in case

but his gift was that he went out and bought new sheets, cover for the duvet/blanket (one fits over the duvet like a large pillow case, not something I am used to in the states and changed how the whole bed looks no matter what covers you use) and pillow cases

The pillow cases in beautiful deep red of some sort of material I don’t know the name of in English and the bedding in black ribbed satin… I don’t know what it cost for everything but I found a way to sneak a peek at the pillow case container (he was showing me material and tying to translate) through the blacked out price I saw that one pillow case was 17€

It was a simple gift, nothing flash/big but very elegant and made me feel special

I don’t get gifts, I get excuses, disappointment and trash

I don’t have high standards to meet, I have been beaten down so many times by lovers/bf’s/whatever for the last 19yrs and longer if you count family and friends

Because of all of that I am no longer selfish

So his gift is partly what I have told you but the other part is him helping to repair myself worth… I KNOW how wonderful I am and how great I treat others and lives I have saved and changed for the better blah blah blah… but I still feel the abuse long after it stops and keeps me awake crying at night

So yeah… really it wasn’t the stuff he gave me… it was him… he is my gift


i took this picture of my dog, on the new sheets, drugged on lust… passion…affection… something that will never be manufactured in a lab or sold from a shelf



poetry, shorts, and other stuff

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Often Erotic Musings from a queer, kinky and definitely dirty girl

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