too depressed to post… sorry

i hate this time of year

i try so hard to stay positive and push the pain away but depression always sneaks up and gets me

no money

living in a house that keeps me depressed and unable to get a job or get my life organized

can’t get a better house that is the size i need because no job

people want to put me in a smaller house to fit the money the government gives me

but smaller means more of my things have to go in storage

i already have a storage unit at almost 200 a month

how is putting me in a smaller house better if i have to rent more storage units to house my things and where do i put my boys when they are with me?

am i supposed to have them sleep in the fucking car?

how am i supposed to get ahead if i keep getting screwed over by people who havent got a clue

how am i supposed to see my kids if they keep putting my in places further away and it isnt fair that my mentally and emotionally abusive husband has my kids! MY KIDS!!! only one of the 3 is his by blood and the fuck nut told me to abort when i was pregnant

how the fuck am i supposed to be strong when i keep getting screwed over


so if you want sexy pics… fuck you… i do this blog for me

not for you

if you are one of the people that message me telling me how sexy i am and what fucking we would do if closer and blah blah blah

you are part of the problem too

i don’t have a sex life

i have a “i get used” life

i don’t feel anything sexual, my nerves are fucked and i don’t feel any of those happy tingles in the sexual nerves… they are dead or damaged

sex is boring for me

i get nothing from it

and i fucking tell people this all the god damn time but they don’t get it and they keep trying to get me to turn them on and make them cum and make THEM HAPPY

i don’t like getting used

so if you are one of the users… either fuck off or fucking pay me for your bullshit

i am too depressed to deal with the shit of others

i have too many problems and everyone who says they are helping me are actually not

i am alone

i have no friends i can count on when i need them

i only have a few nice people in my life and even them… they gain more from me than i do

so i am done

no more boyfriends, lovers, what not

i’m just me and fuck it all

if i’m going to be lonely and alone i might as well avoid getting screwed over and used too

so sorry if no sexy pics for the hoildays like i wanted

too many idiots in my life making me miserable and then being told it’s my fault i am unhappy… i don’t need that shit




4 Responses

  1. Sorry, I don’t really “like” this post, but that’s the only button that allows me to show support. So, allow me to say it too – I get how you feel and have been there (frequently) myself. Hang in there. As Robert Frost once said, “I can sum up for you all I’ve learned about life in three words: It goes on.”

    • thanks hun

  2. Love and hugs ❤

  3. Hugs x

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