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male vs female kink ratio ..fetlife reply

as before

fetlife never fails to make me think

granted there is wine

but my thoughts are still mine

so as per usual

here is the post on fetlife that made me go “hmmmmmmmmmm”

(god i miss arsenio hall)

poster said:

Evening all

This has probably been asked before but why is it that kink in whatever shape and form seem to be vastly more popular with men than women?

and my response

ok let me put in my two cents…

i am an american living in france and i spent two years in the london metro area…

i apologize in advance if anything i say, based off of my experiences, should happen to piss anyone off or make them go “omg no you are totally wrong”

so…. male vs female kink

the problem is that male vs female ANYTHING is always in favor of men

the reason behind this thought is that…
men… boys will be boys
guys are encouraged to go out and fuck like mad, sew those oats and be randy

women are told to be good lil virgins, only fuck for the man we have already married and god forbid we should take pleasure for ourselves

with this in mind… we ladies are also told that what we think isnt important, what we do is ok but men will do it better or get paid more for the same shit and not to forget that if we don’t look barbie doll perfect or run way model outstanding… that we don’t exist

now… that is life in general
not even touching the rapes, the abuse or other bullshit that happens to women on a daily basis which shapes how we see ourselves, even when we try to stop being in victim mode

even the most adjusted female
the least abused or victimized female
all of us suffer from the media telling us who we should be, how we should look and what is attractive and acceptable

with this in mind.. and not counting the cultural crap we have to deal with in religion or our own communities (be it big town or small country village)… women have to, in general, fight to like themselves.. to feel safe in their body, to be ok with touching their own body and taking pleasure

not all women suffer this
not all men are dicks

but the majority that i have known, in the states, the uk, france and those i have meet from other countries…the majority of women have a shit load of crap they have to wade through before they can get past the idea of self pleasure and having sex for non marital relationships… not even getting to the point of kink

now depending on which country you are in, changes all the responses i could have on men… in the states it varies from frat boy idiots to shy virgins (literally or nearly so).. all the way up to frenchies and others thinking 50 shades is gospel

the huge problem is lack of communication and refusing to learn what bdsm started as, where it has gone and what that means to you and your partner

too many are scared or crazed and in a frenzy to jump in
too many who judge
too much crap

so, thats my two cents
there is just too much bullshit that weighs us all down

2 Responses

  1. I think you have some great points

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Often Erotic Musings from a queer, kinky and definitely dirty girl

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