don’t judge me … #NoBraDay .. “Put your boobs back in your bra and donate to cancer research.”

so as you know from other posts

i decided to participate in “no bra day”

i posted 2 images on facebook

1 was shared by a friend

IMG_3470 a

seems one of her friends just didnt approve

now i get that some people are prudish

others are stupid

some are just cruel

some always have to be right or know whats best

some are ubber conservative

and others have religious or cultural differences

ok..fine

and yeah i get that those who have survived cancer could be offended

i know i would still be showing my breasts no matter how they looked if i had cancer (survival or no)

we tell women to do this, do that, think this, think that but dont worry you have equal rights

just no nursing in public, we cant tolerate that!

no birth control options for you young lady

“you dress that way so you must be asking for it”

no taking enjoyment in sex for the sake of pleasure… guys can but god forbid a woman do it too

being told “your place is in the kitchen”

growing up being told it is our fault for getting felt up on the bus, bras snapped in class

no being proud of your body

no positive reinforcement to be female

“you hit/run/scream/etc like a girl”

fuck you! i am a girl!!

i am proud of who i am, where i have been, the struggles i have been through

i have been sick for 24 years! i will be 36 at the end of this month

i am a survivor of many traumas

and i do not sit back and let things happen when i am capable of helping others

so the message to my meme on facebook

well it pissed me off

and here is what we all said

my friend:

Brest cancer awareness brought to you by the lovely Shalla Radiolady! CHECK YOURSELF MEN AND WOMEN!

her friend:

I’m sorry, I get that this is for breast cancer awareness. But to me it’s simply dumb. Put your boobs back in your bra and donate to cancer research.

and me:

i helped in cancer research as an animal care tech…

the wealthfare of the animals being tested is the most important part of the research but all the funding given…
it is not given to the ones like me who dealt with writing down animal deaths, births, new cancerous growths, putting down the animals, changing their cages, filling supplies, cleaning their cages and sterilizing their cages
nor is the money being used to properly supply the universities with all the people and machines needed to care for the animals…
 ..
instead it goes to the scientists and their students (who rarely follow protocol and can cause all kinds of illness to spread and infect the research) because they are the ones with the degree and deemed important…
 ..
without the animals, you dont have tests, without proper tests you dont get results… ie wasted time and money 
(ex hubby is a PhD in cell biology, i have also worked in his world slicing samples for research and other grunt work)
but if you also look at those organizations who “help” with cancer research, rarely any of the money actually gets to the scientists… yay for lined pockets
 ..
so.. i will keep posting my breasts
not simply to remind people to think about their own (not just women but men too) but also because we need to see more nudity so that we stop being ashamed of our bodies and stop treating them like objects…
 ..
did you know that in africa cancer is treated as a contagious disease and women who are suffering from breast cancer are outcasted from their families and forced to deal with their cancer alone… and yeah i know this because i helped with the photography for the women speaking at events for African Women’s Cancer Association Awareness
 ..
i was also a sex therapist on the radio and i have worked with an organization in the uk who help promote equal (sexual/sexuality) rights for the handicap
 ..
i am a life coach and i blog, i share my body in images because i know it isnt what the media deems attractive and yet every year i have someone tell me how i inspired them to love their body
 ..
i help save lives every year and i am hoping to soon start working with some of the local prostitutes to help give them the mental health support they are lacking in my community
 ..
so..sorry… i happen to be poor but i have time to give and experience to offer
 ..
my big point is… at the end of the day… i have done something, i have made an effort and that lasts
tomorrow is a new day… and i will keep doing something
donating money, great if you have it but it is something you can walk away from and forget, go about your life and never face any of the reality
 ..
so… if you have money great
but dont judge me
after posting this i go back to facebook and see she had more to say
thus meaning i too had to open my yap
her:
Did I say you in particular? No. I’m just giving my two cents. I feel personally that if anyone is posting pics, great, go for it. But it is not like it does anything. Will a pic of yourself donate? No. If you wanna remind people to check for breast cancer, make a post.
And yes, I was aware, but again, a pic does nothing. If you are poor, just make a post to remind family and friends to check themselves.
and me:
umm those are my boobs in that pic
i have over 600 people who follow me, i have over 1000 on twitter and many more who follow my blog.. all 3 places have this pic… i am a public person, maybe not famous… but i tip the scales… so maybe this pic does not raise money… but it does get people thinking.. if that thought for you means donate money..job well done, go out and give
is it bad i am hoping she will inspire me to write more?
yup she did… posted more
so did i
her:
I was aware, but I was saying in general ;). Your thing is your thing. Your opinion is yours and mine is mine. I really do not understand the reason why we are arguing over something as simple as an opinion. I really hope you spread awareness, though.

and me:
i am upset because too many people think money makes a difference.. it is impersonal and rarely gets to the people who need it
..
i am upset because i have done a lot that most never would and i have seen the inner workings of the system
..
i am upset because i choose to do something but get attacked for it.. be it in general or directly
..
i am upset that people (in general or directly) assume that my choice to show my breasts in support of this meme/event/day is just a scream for attention and excuse to get the boys (or girls) drooling for shallow fun in disguise of the real deal (did you say this, no but easily could be said/thought by anyone)
..
i am upset because too many ..around the world.. judge
you can have an opinion, it is wonderful to have one
but don’t be surprised if others decide to mirror back the judgment made on them
..
i mean, take selena gomez for example… a more neutral topic
she recently went public with the fact that she has lupus
the reason why she went public was because so many of her fans, random people with an opinion..
decided to bash her for being out of the public eye and canceling shows
omg OBBBBBVIOUSLY she must be a drunk or druggy and in rehab
her fans treated her like shit, posting comments all over the web
why?
because they had an opinion and one idiot after another listened to that opinion.. which helped spread hate and entertainment at the expense of another human being
..
you don’t like something
fine, don’t like it
you don’t agree with something
no big deal
you live life by a different set of rules
don’t judge me and how i live my life based off your opinions and your rules
..
so… yes i took this personally
because you said “Put your boobs back in your bra and donate to cancer research.”
and i bet you thought you could get away with stating your…opinion…
and not have a backlash
possibly thinking that this was just a meme shared by a friend by a friend by other people
instead of the one who created and posed for the meme
..
and if you don’t understand “why we are arguing over something as simple as an opinion”
words have value, the have weight
opinions are voiced words… they count
and all it takes is one person to say the wrong thing for it to become gospel in the minds of those who refuse to think for themselves
..
i’m not saying your opinion is wrong
i am saying why it pissed me off
i write best when it is for something i believe in
something that inspires me
but now it is 4:41am and i have a lil furball who wants me to go to bed and cuddle
yay for kittens
remember folks.. opinions are great but come with a lot of responsibility when shared

4 Responses

  1. My boys will often say “Haters gonna hate, just keep stepping!”

    I’d rather see an awareness to prevention and early detection than the constant flow of cash that goes into cancer “research”, that yeilds us nothing. Maybe awareness of alternative treatments that DO work will be more beneficial or try supporting the cause for alternate cures. I’ve lost faith in big pharma. They don’t want to see their profit strem dry up… My 2 cents worth. And keep the boobs out where we can appreciate them for their beauty.

    • i want to see better quality of living so that IF you get cancer it is more a rarity than the scary norm it is becoming

      better schooling, more activities and a cheaper but healthier selection of food (though i count the average GMO as part of big PHARMA)

      the better we live, having the things we NEED. the less crap will happen to our bodies

  2. Good for you, I think you explained yourself perfectly, sadly people like this will often not ‘hear’ you but only want they want to hear/believe but that does not mean they should not be challenged. Bravo!

    Mollyxxx

    • the way i see it… i did something… my pictures inspire others haha
      be it sex positive or omg no!!taboooooo
      either way talk happens and that gets people thinking
      so i am slowly..ever so fucking slowly..changing the world 😀

      its a red head thing, get enough of us together and we will plot to take over the world, just wayyyy too much effort to do anything hahah

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E.B. Starpointer

erotic author and sex-positive male commentator

An Accident In Space And Time

Just your average, friendly Vulcan

Exposed Loving

Be Love. Bring Love. LOVE.

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