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    July 2015
    M T W T F S S

#fetlife question “Approaching women when out?”

so, as per usual when i mention fetlife…

some subject inspired me and i decided to share the question as well as my response

poster questioned:

Hey all,

Im curious, how do women actually feel about being approached, be it in clubs (vanilla and kink) and generally when going about their day?

Would you be creeped out or is it flattering? How viable is it for a guy!

Thanks 🙂

and my reply was

it all depends on the delivery

example… guy at the airport was very attractive, as was his silent friend… now mister talkie talkie was the type to make sure everyone heard what he was doing and saying, no matter how inappropriate it was or how embarrassing it must have been for his friend

after hearing him hacking up loogies in the mens room (the open floor plan and acoustics made it hard to miss) or joking about all kinds of shit (literally and figuratively)… then later seeing him lounging on a bench next to his silent friend
the rude guy was spread out, legs open wide as he semi laid back and was chatting loudly…

we finially finish our business with the car rental people and have gone to the bathroom before going to the main terminal to check our bags…

and as we walk past the talkie talking dude busts out with “i look good”
we were the only ones around and it was aimed loud enough to capture our attention

now i am sarcastic and wont take bs from any age group, i know i look younger than 35 so maybe the 20something year old thought he was romantically preaching to the same age group choir … but no!

so without skipping a beat, without turning and making sure i comment just as loud… i reply “yeah but you sound like a 2 year old” and continue walking without saying anything more or laughing…though later i was laughing historically at his stupidity
now…i get a LOT of jocks like that who think they are giving compliments or i get stupid folks who think a back handed compliment is still a compliment (you look good for your age or size or hair color or whatever! is not a compliment, it is an insult to put a condition on a compliment)

i also get a lot of shy guys that seem sweet and unsure of themselves, other times guys who are more confident…. but most of them still expect something back for “paying” that compliment

there are very few who give compliments for nothing…just the pleasure of making someones day
on the flip side i know that is also true for a lot of guys
there is a huge number of men who never get compliments or a lot who get nothing but sexual oh baby i want your hot bod compliments

i make an effort to give genuine compliments when i see someone who inspires me and i want nothing in return and i dont linger to seem like i expect something

last guy i said something to was this gentlemen at wigmans in maryland
i walked past him standing there with his shopping cart, he looked like he was waiting for someone, he was taller than me (at 5′ most people are taller lol) and he looked over my head not seeing me at all but i happened to see his eyes and i literally caught my breath

his eyes were so beautiful

i kept walking as i was following someone but we ended up doubling back and he was still there, so i told my friend i would be right back and walked up to the guy
caught his attention and told him i was not trying to flirt but had to admit his eyes made me catch my breath, that they were very beautiful and i smiled sweetly and walked off

the look on his face and change in his body posture was priceless
you could just tell he either never had that happen or that it was such a rare thing and really made his day

so like i said, it is all in the delivery and the motive behind the compliment

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