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What does cuddling mean to you?

every so often i will see something in my inbox from fetlife that will inspire me to write

this message has been sitting untouched for about a week now

but today i was brave enough to face the question and the pain that always comes with such a sensitive subject

affection, cuddles, touch, mental stimulation is what i need

often around me i find people who are unable to understand why these things are so vital to me

one guy on a dating site said i should just get a puppy and drop the sites

another guy said i should see a shrink

lovely men there are in the world

(not that today’s women are any better)

i take the time to explain who i am and what i need

then i get attacked for being me

for being my special kind of “handicapped”

ah well you cant expect everyone to be able to handle the truth

or to say no to their over active libido and under developed IQ

i know that not all men (or women) are like this

but i often find the worst before i find the normal or exceptional ones

i am not pessimistic… i am honest..realistic

i am not half empty or half full…i am the glass..

so this question was asked

and with all fetlife questions that i share on my blog

i do not give the comments of others or names/handles

What does cuddling mean to you?

How far does it go before its not cuddling? Some “cuddling” that I’ve experienced isn’t cuddling at all. Its full fledged messing around. Personally, those aren’t the same thing. I like having stuff defined so everyone is at least in the same book and there are minimal surprises. Let me know your thoughts.

and this is what i had to say

i like to sleep with people
not sex
doesnt have to be heavy petting or kissing

just two or more bodies in a bed or on a pile of pillows
arms around each other
feeling warm, safe, content

my life is full of stress and pain
i need the innocent and affectionate side of cuddling
like how puppies or other baby animals group together and sleep

everyday
all day
i have to be strong and cope and try to look normal
but i suffer a lot of chronic pain and stress

when i cuddle
i get to let go of that
i get to relax
and relaxing is so damn hard for me

but so few people seem to get this concept
and trying to explain this to the french
the guys all seem to think i am crazy
or that i am hiding what i “really” want

where i am it is very lonely

the women are distant and usually cold or fear breaking taboos
the men usually just want sex.. not even kink…just sex
so boring

thank you for inspiring me to write
i will add this (what i have to say and your question, not others comments) to my blog
but no worries, i never put names or images unless requested

what i didnt add in my reply is that i have had a number of people assume that i mean foreplay and sex when i tell them i want to cuddle

when i was state side, there was a guy i met online and i clicked with him

i felt very comfortable with him and just wanted to be wrapped up in his arms

no stress, no pressure, no drama

he was like me in that he had a troubled past with a broken marriage

but he assumed i meant i wanted sex and drama

it amazes me how i can write a blog

share all that i am on any single subject

explain that these are my thruths

this is who i am

read me

and yet they don’t and they make assumptions and we both lose a chance for something good

i dont play games

i dont like lies

i dont want to be used

i dont want to be a slut to try and find the affection i need in touch

i dont want to compromise, again and again, who i am for others

i want to touch and be touched

i want to rest my head in your lap while listening to music or watching movies or sitting in the park

i want your hand running through my hair

my body curled around yours if we are in the park

or my body parallel, entwined with your legs as you lean back

i need your body close to me

as close as one can be without merging into one being

i need to feel safe, protected, wanted… not sexually desired..wanted, cared for

with this i can relax

with this i can let go of the stress and pain

i dont understand why this behavior is accepted in pets…animal on animal contact

or human and animal contact

but not with human to human

we are animals

i know i have said this before

but as the world has not stood up and taken notice

i say it again

there needs to be more love

more unconditional love and happiness

not hippy free love and no thinking

puppy innocence

but this is what i think

my two cents

IMG_3174 a

ps… you see the white space around me in this picture

that is where you belong

cuddling me

5 Responses

  1. Cuddling I find that it is something that comes naturally to me before and after making love… to some its a case of one bam thank you ma’am… to me its about a discovery between two people and the come-down after the sex has taken place.

    Its not about “fucking’ to me, maybe I’m weird – who knows… but I actually like the cuddling, head on chest thing… each to their own and all that. It’s a good feeling giving someone a cuddle, whilst playing with their hair and leaning in for a soft kiss on their face, nose, forehead etc.

    • i like the way you think

      • I like the way you look, the way you smile… and the way your head would feel on my chest/shoulder… I think that would be worth its weight in gold…

  2. Cuddles and affection are life blood for me ,, giving and receiving. This does not cut into any rules. Just part of the rounded relationship. To be content outweighs everything and is the ultimate !! Xxxx do not change !!

    • yes i agree
      but i like to have cuddles with just about anyone who is a friend
      for me it isnt sexual..i CAN be but that isnt what i want
      so i want cuddles without having to be in a relationship or to have them while in a relationship if i cant see my lover often
      cuddles heal me

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An Accident In Space And Time

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Exposed Loving

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