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  • duh its a calendar

    December 2013
    M T W T F S S

Julie London “I’d like you for Christmas” #SinfulSunday

Sinful Sunday

note: i no longer have a good computer with all the things like programs to check my spelling or auto correct if i am too lazy to use proper capitalization… sorry to anyone that noticed the difference


i have had a horrible time trying to think up what i should say for the holidays
though it is always about the pictures
you know i have always wanted to paint my words so that they glide through your mind and you see my world

this event has caused me a lot of inner turmoil

i hate the holidays

all of them…

mainly because i have always had to work or never had that family feel… even as i grew older and had a family of my own

the holidays have always been a horrible time for me
a reminder of what i don’t have, will never have or how people make me…no..have MADE me feel as if i was worthless

so many lives lost around the holidays
so many ghosts that haunt me
so many pains and regrets

but that is the past
i am trying to move on
the divorce will help
starting over will help
and for this moment in time, having a beautiful man in my life is helping

i feel i can get away with using the word “beautiful” because for me it is something beyond looks
something far more attractive to me


ha, reading this he will be scared and think i place him on a pedestal
i don’t
i have just learned to appreciate what i have in my life… who i have in my life
see them for what they really are and acknowledge it

so this Christmas song..

i decided to avoid my favorite
“i hate people” from the 1970 version of Scrooge with Albert Finny
fits so well after spending over a decade working costumer service haha


or there is

“the closing of the year” from the movie Toys

ah how that one has warmed my heart on many occasions when i just wanted the holidays to be voided from the universe and the pain i have always felt to be voided along with it

but this year, though i have suffered so many horrible things that i would not wish on anyone…

i do have someone sweet

someone i want to thank and i hope…

someone that will stay till the next holiday on the list

maybe a few more holidays after that too

so here begins the song i have chosen
and yes
all photos are mine, taken from different points in my few years

happy holiday

to which ever you celebrate and many happy moments with as much kink as possible

my Christmas kink wish is simple…

i need romance and aftercare, to heal the harm that has been done


. . .




I’d like you for Christmas


Please make my wish come true
Cus’ I’d trim trees and deck the hallways


If I knew you’d be mine for always
I won’t be blue on Christmas
If old Saint Nick comes through
And he remembers that I’d like you for Christmas
New Years, Easter, too…

She’d like you for Christmas (chorus)
Please make my wish come true
Cus’ she’d trim trees and deck the hallways (chorus)
If she knew you’d be hers for always (chorus)
I won’t be blue on Christmas
If old Saint Nick comes through
And he remembers that I’d like you for Christmas
New Years, Easter, too…

10 Responses

  1. Glad to hear that things seem better for you! 🙂 Nice pics.

  2. Hope this holiday season and coming year are brighter for you!

    ~Kazi xxx

  3. Hope Christmas is better than your expectations.

    I’ve never been religious but there is a sense of palpable excitement and hope over the festive period that transcends all races and religions. 😉

    • i am not religious at all, more spiritual
      the way i see it and this is just my view
      there is something out there, i can feel it but i don’t put a name on what ever is out there

      to put a name or label on something, in my eyes, is to limit it
      i don’t want to put what ever is out there into a box and confine it
      my mind just doesnt have the words to define what i feel, so i shouldnt try to place a name on it

      but thats just me

      i just want snuggles, happy times with friends and family
      that is the best gift i can have for the holidays

  4. Awww…. I hope the holiday turns out to be better that you expected and that all you Christmas wishes, especially the kinky ones, come true


    • so far my only wish is to be happy
      after posting this blog and reading a few of the other entries
      i went to see him and spent almost 4hrs just cuddle up and chatting
      ok snogging too
      it feels good to have someone i can make out with like i was an innocent teen again
      hahah not that any of you lot ever think i am or was innocent 😉

  5. I’m happy that things seem to be finally looking up a bit for you. Hang in there.

    • believe me, if you followed the crap i have been spewing on facebook… you would wonder how i stay sane
      i just have to keep holding on and wait a little longer

      i know if i can get out and be in a safe/sane place i can start writing again
      i miss it but i just can’t, not now


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