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    May 2012
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week after week


I am feeling rather pleased with myself

Week after week I can tell I am reclaiming who I used to be

One can never go back and do over the past but in memories we can dream while waking and remember

Forget what you don’t like and leave it in the past

Learn from it of course but do not chain it to your current self and let it hurt you again

Instead grab hold of what you enjoyed, understand why it felt so good and let it join you in your present state

Grow

Learn

Enjoy

Be who you are and become more

I left behind many things I don’t wish to focus on, let sleeping dogs lay

A few of my fears followed me, as they always do but I make my best effort to ignore them

I try to pay attention to what I used to love

Writing, sharing my view of the world

As the weeks pass, I find that overall it is easier to dig up the words from the back of my mind like a pirate’s treasure

To make them my own and to be inspired by what I see, those people I engage and the things I dream up

I am hoping one day soon I will find myself returning to the land of fantasies

Imaging up pleasures and delights to satisfy myself

I am not greedy, I will share

so damn hot


note: the past few days have just been so bad to me heat wise

 

I spent the day in bed, hours passing as I lay naked trying to hide from what friends of mine have dubbed, the evil day star

The heat has been too much for me to stand, my temperature rising to dangerous levels and leaving me feeling so ill and unable to cope

Showers, so much time splashing water on face and shoulders, letting it run down my body as it dries quickly in the humidity that even shadows cannot hope to offer comfort

So easy for others to get up and move and take breath

For me I am from a cold climate, used to the snows, ice, wind and temperatures at -40° the cold is so much easier for me to cope and adapt to

With the cold you can do so many things to fight it but the heat saps me of any energy I have to get up and function, gluing me to the deck and pounding on my body, sending me into a sort of torpor

All I can do is fight to control the temperature, control my movements and do whatever it takes to avoid a seizure

In all the time I have spent visiting London I have never wanted a bit of rain more in all my life

Having to wait till the sun starts to set and the cool winds pick up for any relief from the assault on my body

(armedwithcoffee)

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