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    May 2012
    M T W T F S S

20 plus

I have a thing about age

To me it doesn’t matter how old someone is, only how young they are…

I try really hard, with all my perving, to be a good girl and behave within certain limits I impose on myself

I know they say, oh don’t worry, just think of it as half your age plus two or something along those lines but at the moment that would mean I should be looking at guys 18 years old and that just weirds me out at the moment

I have children, all boys and the oldest is almost 15 but on occasion has been confused with 19 year olds.

When I go to his school, which isn’t often, I try to ignore the other boys that are his age or older as they watch me and whisper….

They don’t know I am his mother, no one at the school recognizes me as such, and they all confuse me for the older sister, a cousin or baby sitter

Because I don’t have a driver’s license yet I am limited to going into town, I have a scooter but can’t use it all the time and as my son is getting taller than me, it becomes difficult to haul him and his sack full of rocks (school bag) and find my balance

One day that I went to pick him up I had forgotten to say “I am the mother of so&so, here to pick him up” and instead had said something to the effect of “I’m here to pick up so&so”… in French of course

There had been two people in the office and the young male (probly late 20’s MAYBE early 30’s) hurry’s up to me, puts an arm around my shoulders as he ushers me to a waiting spot outside of the office and tells me he will be right back with so&so

It was at the point of how his eyes looked at me as he had rushed up to me, that I had realized “awww crap I didn’t say he was my son”

The guy was hitting on me hard core with ever move of his body and voice, I am no fool and have had this happen before in different parts of my life

Anyway, the guy walks off and I am left looking at his ass… hey he at least was old enough to drool over, the teens sitting along the building during their break had to be avoided

I find out later when the man approached my son to tell him I was here, he had called me his sister and from the way my son explained it the guy blushed deep red when he learned I was in fact the mom.

My son and I had a giggle over it later because he is able to understand what flirting is and understood that the guy had blushed because he had been flirting with me

So, back to my focus, age…

I prefer to hit on guys over 20 years old, that way I know they are not likely to be hanging out with my son and his friends, legal age for sure and I won’t feel like a young cougar in training!

Though I do admit there was this one guy *bites lip*

We bought a house in the country for dirt cheap, it needed work done in multiple places and still isn’t finished after two years.

One of the things that had really bugged me was the location of the toilet, in France they like to keep the bathing room and the potty room separate

I am fine with this for the most part, except that in this case the water closet (WC as they call it) was right next to the kitchen and no one wants to hear that while they eat!

So we decided since we were changing the orientation of the stair case and that meant getting a new one, we would have the toilet moved to under the stairs, as well as putting in a new one upstairs for the boys… family of 5 neeeeeeeds more than one! Trust me!

Now some things in the house the hubby knows how to handle but installing plumbing isn’t his thing, so we hired an older man to do the job

The day the work starts he shows up with this tall, very good looking lad and leaves him here with me!!!! He is the plumber’s apprentice

Omg he was pretty, only 19 years old and god did I perv over him…. I couldn’t help it

This was slightly before the marriage became open so I am behaving! I am not going to pounce the poor boy and do all the naughty thoughts that had been racing through my head

I swear I had never wanted to see plumbers crack so badly before

At points he was down on his knees in front of me and I swear he tilted his ass up just right for me to inspect!

Never in my life had I wanted more but to strip him naked, bind him like a good lil sub, smack his ass with my riding crop and take his ass with a strapon

Everything about him was strong, controlled, he knew what he was doing when it came to his job but when he would catch me looking at him those movements turned to sexual submission in such a teasing and tempting way

He was there for days!!!

I was so frustrated, if you go back through my tweets you can read firsthand how bad I was! Worst was that when I had the kids in the house he was there so I had to behave, when I didn’t have the kids he wasn’t there and I probly would have molested him!

I don’t play in France, I behave, I am respectful to the hubby and the kids… I keep them out of my sex adventures in London but god I wanted that young man

And the fucker kept flirting with me!!!!!

I can still see him now, on the ladder, torch in his hand as he welded some of the pipes for the new bathroom on the floor above him. I could see right up his shirt and because of the angle he was stretching at it kind of made the front of his pants pull down just a bit so I could drool over the idea of where that happy trail wondered off too

I behaved

God I didn’t want to but I behaved

And I keep behaving

I get so many 19 year olds on different sites wanting me to meet them or cyber and I just can’t, just too young for my taste

I do admit I love a virgin, nothing better than taking a guy’s virginity and molding him into a good lover but I want a man with some life experience … I am just not interested in boys

My Major part 2

I was so happy yesterday

After weeks of silence I was finally able to talk with my major, I have missed him so and reminded him that if he just let go of his fear I would give up all that I do in London and visit him instead, be his lover

He is too shy though, strong and dominant in life but terrified of things he cant control… relationships being top of that list

He feels I am asking him to write checks he just cant cash in person

He is scared that he will be hurt and rejected

I don’t know how to convince him of how much I care, how much I want him and how easily it would be to teach him the simple things I want him to know

I intimidate him with all of my sexual experience, funny thing is I know more than I have done but am so willing to learn and try more

I am intimidated by all that he knows about the rest of the world but I am so willing and begging for him to teach me what he knows but he is too scared to let me teach him

Yesterday I told him about the first anniversary party for Erotic Meet, it will be fun, wonderful and safe people, a very easy going crowd

Different performances of the erotic nature to tempt and tease, stimulate the mind and body

There will be nothing scary for a first time visitor

I told him all he has to do is wrap his arms around me, hold me tight against him with my back to his chest and keep my company. He doesn’t have to talk to anyone, I can do that, he can just be the strong silent major keeping me safe and warm in his arms

I let him know that throughout the performances we can sit and I will gladly snuggle into him but he worried that doing so he would get aroused… silly man, everyone at the event will be aroused at some point in the night, it is erotic art! If it doesn’t stimulate I don’t feel it is really doing the job right lol

Sadly nothing I say seems to have given him the courage to come visit me, I am not enough to tempt him from where he is in his life

He is a major in the military, strong in body and mind, able to build houses with friends, kayak the colder waters, ski down the slopes and face down cancer… he lives life passionately in every way but love

He avoids love like the plague, terrified of it and yet he is a true romantic, simply meant for loving

I don’t know how to get him out of his shell but I would give so much to have him come to the birthday party for Erotic Meet. It would mean so much to me and I know that sounds selfish, maybe it is but I want him to come out and play, to have some fun and see that sex and erotica are not that scary

Photography and writing

I started to blog mainly to get back into writing

I need something to keep me focused and mean something

With this blog I can point to it and say I did something special today, I achieved a goal I had set for myself and it is a goal I can keep striving for

With whatever it is that I have which is making me ill and has kept me that way for the last 20 years, I don’t know that I can go back out into the work force and offer something to the world

I could focus on my photography but I am too scared and don’t have anyone in that community to mentor me and encourage me to keep going

That world seems to be a very tight group that more often will keep you out for fear of competition, instead of taking you under their wing and showing you what you have been missing

I am an amateur photographer, I have no training, I simply grew up with a camera in my hand

I have no idea what I do with photoshop and even if I sat down to show you I couldn’t explain it as my version is in French… I just play

I would love to hold an exposition of the photos I have taken but in France you need to know the language, not just the normal pleasantries but the technical aspects of the language and all the complex rules to the society

I don’t

I only know social French, which is great for cocktail parties and family get togethers but otherwise I might as well stay mute

My husband is French but he is not an artist in any form but the sciences and cannot help me, he just doesn’t have the time to invest in me that much and wouldn’t know where to start

He already does a lot for me so I don’t blame him with this

I do find it hard that I can’t share my art with him

He just doesn’t get it and even when he sees something I have done and enjoys it, I don’t get the feedback I need to grow

He just doesn’t understand art and that’s ok

So I have lost interest in my pictures, lost confidence in myself

Instead I turn to writing, I tried years ago to create a book that reflected so many things I had been dreaming up but I gave all that up when I got pregnant, too hard to be pregnant and ill and be creative

It’s been at least 16 years since I wrote this much on a weekly basis, I used to always have notebooks or drawing pads and would be caught creating characters for the mad world I was inventing

I can see it like a dream

I suppose if I tried I could capture it but I don’t know what to do with my thoughts once I have them written on paper

They just aren’t enough, thoughts only make part of a story, and you need so much more than just a backdrop, a location

I suppose fear holds me back

A lack of dreams as well, I still have them but not nearly as many, maybe I need to start sleeping on the couch again and listening to music as I sleep

That was how I slept in the past and I never had a shortage of inspiration for my writing then

Maybe music is my key

I have too much silence in my life right now, too sterile 

New to kink

I am on a couple of different dating sites, I love meeting people and helping them find what they are looking for in life

Some people just need a kind word at the right time

Others need to learn to think about the world and how to see it differently

A few I know just needed to learn that there are kink websites out there and that you don’t have to be an ubber Dom/me or into massive amounts of pain to join

I turned my cousin on to fetlife, teaching her the fun of meeting other naughty people that will appreciate you for all the reasons that people in “normal society” judge and reject you for

I don’t find it odd at all to see her breasts and I check every time she loads a new picture, not because I am perving over her but because I want to encourage her to be free and be in control of her sexuality

I also want to offer support so she can grow as a person, instead of being smacked down like so many people tend to do to others when people show even the littlest amount of personal control over their life, desires and sexual cravings

Ok that and as an amateur photographer I want to make sure she knows the tricks to getting the best shots possible! It’s an art thing

On that subject, I also showed the way to fetlife to this amazing man that is very sweet but happened to find me on a vanilla dating site and sent me the message… do you want to watch me suck my own cock


I admit

Cyber and cam play just don’t do much for me, I need mental stimulation yes but for the love of god! What good is it to have you telling me to suck your cock, getting my oral fixation started and all excited but is there anything to satisfy me? Noooooooooooooo!

Bah what is the point!

If I get excited enough to masturbate with someone on the net… ya know what happens?!

He comes, he is happy, he is done and can now think about the rest of the day

Me?! I am left more frustrated and needing something real and can’t focus and playing again won’t help

Bah! I tell you!!

So cyber and cam and watching guys wank off for me or telling guys what to do while they wank off… I do have this very nice lil cam slut that loves to perform for me and he is one of the few I enjoy

So yeah all of that… boring!!!

But guys keep asking! I keep telling them why it is a no but they are guys and hopeless

Back to the guy asking to suck himself off…

Now THAT turns me on, I don’t really know why

Maybe it is because not many can do it or perhaps it is the naughtiness of it… touching yourself but in the most personal way possible

I really don’t understand it and haven’t delved too deep into my mind to analyze this, I would rather enjoy

Sadly do to his location and the damn dirty time zones I cannot watch *whimpers*

Instead I pointed him to fetlife and helped him figure out what to post for pictures

The standard cock shot bores me to tears

I might as well be holding a medical exam and shake the persons hand saying “congratulations, you do indeed have a cock, now please put it away”

I want something artistic in nature, teasing me with subtlety, enticing me to want to see more, knowing what is there but tempting me to have to work hard to get what I want

The average cock shot is just that… average!

As Ernesto once said in his erotic writings “there is nothing average about my cock” and he is right!

Whatever your size, shape, color or texture… each cock is a work of art and should be treated as one instead of just …. OOO OOO LOOOK AT ME!! SEE GIRLS I CAN WIGGLE IT!!

Please gentlemen, behave yourselves, stop showing us every picture of your pre cum or the every load you have ever shot

Yes one or two tasteful pictures of each would be nice but not every single shot!

For those of you with foreskin…. Please pull it back

It just grosses me out to see the head poking through as if it was some turtle poking its head out

I will not have fantasies about that going ANYWHERE near my lady bits!

Horny lil me

The last couple of days have been evil for me, I have been horny every day, all day and chatting with a multitude of males that want me to let go and just touch myself

I spend my days in France on the net flirting with potential friends and lovers, I find most of the people I want are and will always be too far away

While the ones I can have are rarely what I want and often times are users and losers that just want to waste my time getting their rocks off while I sit bored by them

I have a relationship with the hubby, he offers me the stability and friendship I need

What I am looking for is the passion, the play, the kink

Maybe I will have that one day with the hubby but till then I hunt to keep my skills honed and my mood happy

I find I keep going back to this one guy, the one that came three times as he played with himself as we chatted on the phone

There is something about him that I want

It isn’t just the sex potential, though I admit that is a very high point on the list, it isn’t just that he is very intelligent and able to turn me on with his words

I think more that it is the possibility for something really special

There is something that just clicks with him

But he is shy, I seem to attract that type of guy

Who knows if we will ever meet but if we do I am hoping the sparks fly


poetry, shorts, and other stuff

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Often Erotic Musings from a queer, kinky and definitely dirty girl

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