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  • duh its a calendar

    April 2020
    M T W T F S S

#covid19 my thoughts

I’m extremely disappointed in society
By many I’m reading on my friends list here or those in groups or on Twitter
But especially those in the states

The best example for what’s going on right now is New Year eve celebrations

In California you can watch the various time zones celebrating as time shifts

But new years doesn’t mean anything till the celebration has hit your home town

The same is happening with the virus

Many see what happened in other locations, other time zones and many are not taking it seriously until they ACTUALLY feel the impact on their community

Because of how society has been set up, many couldn’t afford to self isolate before being forced to do so by the government…
It’s wrong but I get it

What worries me are those still thinking it’s a hoax

And folks who are being selfish while putting themselves and others at risk

Like the guy in the UK wanting to go for a run in the park with his newborn

Or the number of people I’m seeing who say they want to get infected to just get it over with or how the military should be infected so it can be gotten over with… I’ve seen both from multiple people around the world

It’s horribly selfish because it lowers the value of your own life, there is no guarantee how you will react to the virus and risk dying alone and leaving those who care about you suffering much like suicide

It puts those who are already suffering at risk because medication and machines have to be diverted and it puts health services at risk of not only being closer to catching and potentially dying from a higher viral load but worse to survive with c-ptsd and survivors guilt and rage they have no outlet for

So many have and will die, alone
Human as well as animals in vet clinics

Many are raging…which is valid

But far too many are putting on rose tinted glasses and trying to let others do their thing, to ignore those who are being willfully ignorant about this and believing it a hoax…

Not realizing they to are being just as willfully ignorant and allowing it to continue and perpetuating what we are going through and have gone through over the decades by chosing the lesser evil

Many are saying to write your anger, get it all out and then burn it… Which is wonderful advice for more normal times, more normal feelings and pains

We are in Anne Frank times

We need to document our fears, our pains, our struggles… So that our future selves have the material to learn from and hopefully avoid making the same mistakes or perpetuating these mistakes or making worse choices

We need for it all to change, for the better…

Globally, not just in the states and those focusing only on the states are part of the problem

While I fully support the Black Lives movement, which predominantly focuses on folks in the states (WITH JUSTIFICATION!) but is not limited to

This genuinely is a time when we need to all join together, globally, scream at all the governments that ALL lives matter…
Be they human, animal or mineral
(Yes this is something I have been saying since I was little even though I’m white)

Around the wide world we have chosen to pick our battles, they are all valid but they are all sub categories of a larger picture

We need to get to the root of the problem and unit to fix it…


This is our moment in history to do so

We are being forced to do so

But will we?

Will we pay attention to the racism that is putting POC communities at greater risk of infection because they have lower access to proper care and supplies?

As well as the poor and handicapped in all communities…

Will we pay attention to the racism that is causing people to die from violence associated with fear?

Will we pay attention to domestic violence?

Be it couples such as the murder suicide in front of their children or the adult children murdering their parents…

Will we pay attention to the fact that many don’t have fancy degrees and yet are still capable of thinking, feeling and able to rationalize or will we keep picking these people apart or putting others down for having important things to say because they post nudes?

Will we stop caring about labels for any subject and focus on the truth…

You are either for life and a better future FOR ALL or you are against it…

Will we stop condemning others to make ourselves feel more important?

Will we stop shielding others from the truth, to keep them innocent…yet berate them later for not getting the information they needed to make wise choices…

Will we CHOOSE to be better, behave better, do better for the sake of a better world for all?

Or will we try to go back to what we’ve “always” known and once again turn a blind eye to the global problem?

Will we clean out this festering wound, potentially amputating the problems and cauterizing the wound…

Or will we wash it up, slap a new bandaid on it and ignore what is killing us…

I’m making this public (on Facebook Shalla Radiolady) so maybe it will reach the people who are out there, like me, desperately crying out for a better world…


To try to wake up folks and get them to think beyond the gut reaction and fear and hate

To reach the people who can’t form the words to explain what they feel yet can relate to what I’m saying

Screwed in all the wrong ways 😭

Yay (sarcasm)

Was feeling all cute and cuddly

Ready to face the cold and wind so I could toss the ball around with Bruce

Was going to make a fun video and be cheerful with the cats and Bruce

Back inside with a panic attack

Was supposed to get a small shipment of cat food to hold me over till I get money in the bank after the 5th

Because tomorrow I’ll be out of cat food and I can’t guarantee local stores will have any and I’d have to walk 6+ km to the nearest store in a lockdown county

But plans fell through and earliest I could get help is Wednesday

This is why I give help but have been too traumatized to ask for help

This is why I get upset when people pull a surprise on me

This is why I need full details

This is why my ex husband traumatized me and has instilled this behavior into my boys, thus perpetuating the negativite pattern of miscommunication

And this is why folks try to say I’m paranoid and don’t genuinely need all the details

This is my constant

This is my daily, weekly, monthly for years

This is not new because of covid-19

This is because society at large…sucks and now I have bigger stress pilled on top

So I’m going back to bed to cry my frustrations because tomorrow I’ll have to be strong and find an alternative… As always

I’m seriously tired of chronically being strong

I got blocked 🤣 poor baby

Edit to show original post

Had to scroll around to find it after he blocked me

Clearly shows inability to do that reading comprehension thingy lol

Edit end…


How cute

Mostly porn… Hmm do you even understand the difference?

No intellectual thought… How many people actually remember or know about the “dunce cap”

Pretty high quality snark and sarcasm there, touch of humorous tones inspired by various series … plus old school special words too

Ah how Trump supporters have no ability to take time and use their brains for more than shit stirring and promoting the suffering and it deaths of others


I see many should be wearing the dunce cap and sent to the corner

Nudity-Sin poem #sinfulsunday

Sinful Sunday is all about the image

Click on the lips to see those who are also participating

Please like, share, comments on those participating

Feel free to skip my words, I have many that I needed to say

Sinful Sunday

I’m feeling rather nude and raw these days

Not in the fun sort of ways

I’d been doing really well with focusing on me, working on getting back my creativity and feeling more sexualI’d even started having a few fantasies again…

I haven’t had those in years

Not ones for me, my desires, my wants, only adding in specific people if it was my choice

Instead of people pleasing or story telling and creatingI was doing really well!!

Then I ended up being guilted into taking my 18 yr old son and his friend into my home for 2 weeks

I wasn’t ready

He didn’t have to be there normally, not his typically scheduled time but she had no where else to go due to the closing of student housing

I ended up sliding back into old habits of trauma, losing all the momentum and happiness…

and confidence…

I had worked hard to gainSo many panic attacks due to C-PTSD and I’m genuinely struggling

So I’ve been raw online

Screaming at the world to do better, be better and stay the fuck home

But also trying to reach out

For my sanity as much as others

I can easily strip my clothing and run around naked

Ok maybe not run…

I don’t do that running shit…

But you know what I mean

Being emotionally naked…

That’s more difficult for most but I practice it dailyI’m lonely…

More so than typicalI’m scared…

For reasons you probly wouldn’t anticipateI’m frustrated and angry…

So I’m exposing myself…

In many ways

And if someone needs to connect on an emotional level, I’m happy to help…

Because it helps me too

Edited with image at the bottom

Was too close to the coding for the lips at the top and caused problems

23 of 31 March photography challenge

Today’s challenge is a day late and 2 dollars short 🤣

But if you like it, then you better put a ring on it


“Ring” … was the challenge

My brain went silly on this one which is why the delay

As well as the excuse for sunlight masturbation and playing dress up with one of my favorite rings

Tomorrow’s… today… challenge is “water”

Will get on that now

Free thoughts

For a better communication


Finding Freedom and Clarity Through Creativity

An Accident In Space And Time

Just your average, friendly Vulcan

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