“Let me put on my face”

Growing up I used to hear odd ways of speaking from many different people in my life…

including random strangers as the pass by

 

The ones that stick with me most are “let me put my eyes in”

for when someone has to put their contact lenses in to be able to see and function properly

 

Or there is this one “I just need to put my face on and then we can go”

Now that one really stuck with me

 

If you pay attention to my blog, twitter feed, facebook or any other social site I use…

Then you will know that I suffer from health issues… a lot of them

 

For the most part I look pretty normal

Image

 

sure the past year I have almost exclusively walked with a cane to keep my balance and give me mobility that would be restricted if I over work my body to try and be as “normal” as everyone says I look..

 

Most people assume I am younger than my almost 35 years or they think I must not be in as bad of pain if I am not mentioning it every 5 seconds

 

I am a “trooper” .. I carry on and get through the day as best I can and try to keep doing things the way I used to, be who I used to be and each year that gets more difficult

 

The most visible problem that people point out… is my skin… my face to be exact

I do my best to hide my face… foundation, cover up… whatever you want to call it…

 

I just want to look “normal”

 

I don’t want to be some fashion model or photoshopped pretty face

I simply want to avoid having the neighbors kid freak out like I am some freak or ugly monster

…true story (of course being me I explained my health and situation and he freaks less, he doesnt do it to be mean, he is simply young and tactless lol)

 

I get something like adult acne…

cysts, boils, dunno what else… I don’t really care, I just want it gone

 

First thing everyone says (professional or not)…. “don’t pick your face”

 

I don’t…

 

I perform minor surgery on my face

I have read enough about the pain I feel to understand (book wise vs simply using common sense) that what I am dealing with NEEDS surgery

 

The pain I live with isn’t normal

but no one listens to me…

25 years with “acne” and still no one listens to me or takes me seriously

 

So I have mentioned before to many different people, about my face but I rarely post any pictures to really explain beyond the words

I hide and it sucks and it restricts me in many ways

but I do it so I wont be judged by fools with hurtful tongues and empty minds

 

so… the following is me going from freshly washed face to all dolled up and ready to seduce a lover or few ;)

 

to be fair my skin isn’t TOO bad today

no sores that refuse to heal fast enough

nothing that wont stay closed

nothing that was overly hard to hide

nothing that was too painful to touch in any way

 

so here goes

 

#1 … side A

 Image

 

#2…. side B

Image

 

#3… now for my “war paint”

Image

 

#4…. halfway to “normal”

Image

 

#5… about as “normal” as i get

Image

 

So… this is me..

There are people out there with worse situations than mine and I try to keep that in mind

 

I know some people can relate to me for many different reasons

I also know that too many people put value in the wrong places

 

I am just me.. nothing more and nothing less

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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4 comments on ““Let me put on my face”

  1. Mia says:

    Being you is the most important thing. What is on the outside is less important than the person within.

    If you need to cover up have you seen the Sheer Cover range of products? It is mineral based so kind to the skin and is desiged to cover flaws (including tattoos!) completely! The website in the UK is http://www.sheercover.co.uk.

    ~Mia~ xx

    • i will look into that

      i tend to only cover up when i need to be outside.. one to hide but also two because the stuff i use helps protect from the sun

      being redhead, suffering from sun sensitivity above and beyond normal AND often taking mild antibiotics to help my skin means sun is BAD for me

      been adding coconut oil (pure, not commercial creams or soaps) to my face… clean my skin with good soap, massage in the oil and let sit for an hour or over night

      helps bring down any inflammation/redness and has been causing less breakouts of the evily painful sort

      you know things are insanely bad when you can’ move part of your face for fear of the nearly blinding pain

  2. graypoet says:

    Lovely inside and out. Any man should be proud.

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